Pedometers for Dummies

The final indignity that has opted me out of modern gadgetry was an old reliable pedometer that finally ran out of batteries .

And of course, no one could figure out how to open the battery box.

Maybe it was frozen in shock at how few steps I walked in the last five years.

I mourned that little pedometer and somehow knew a substitute would require a Masters’ Degree in Programming and hours of frustration to get up and running walking.

Forced to buy a new pedometer- three or four new ones  to be exact- they all challenged my intelligence.

It’s not that I’m not intelligent.  I used to be considered a bright child.

But that was in the good old days when life was simple.  There were no huge technological innovations calculated to make things easier.

Life was easy enough with Off and On switches you might have to get up for.

But I am ranting.

Even after hours of reading and re-reading I could not decipher the directions to all the new pedometers stacking up in a secret hiding place reserved for storing complicated gadgets.

Asking for help, as you may know, is humiliating.

But trying one last time, I ordered a supposedly SIMPLE  PEDOMETER that “is operational right out of the box!”

Really?

I could hardly contain my excitement when it came – a simple little drop-in-your-pocket pedometer with great big Easy Read Numbers and a little pull-tag.

I pulled the tag (according to the directions) and it was ready to go!  No intelligence required!

But where were the instructions to program calories burned, body mass indexes, breaths per minute, miles consumed, muscle contractions, levels of perspiration, or all that other irrelevant stuff?  Not there.  What a relief!

All I ever wanted to know was STEPS!

And, although I hardly believe it, this little gadget ONLY REGISTERS STEPS!

No need to purchase another 550 page book on Pedometers for Dummies (I wonder if there really is such a book)!  I already have Computers for Dummies, Windows 10 for Dummies, and Office for Dummies, plus a few more.

“By golly,” as they used to say in the good old days, when I was intelligent,  “Someone has figured out how to regress to simpler times.”  Kudos to the inventor of this precious little Steps Only Pedometer!

And  now maybe I can fool the world into thinking I have a Master’s Degree in Programming.

Why can’t everything else be this easy?

Why do I always have to pull out the directions for my self cleaning oven?

Shouldn’t I just be able to hit “Clean??

Read Full Post »

Growing Up With Phones

Daily Prompt:  Call me, Maybe.

Describe your relationship with your phone.  Is it your lifeline,

a buzzing nuisance, or something in between?

I remember how telephones used to be.  I even remember party lines where there were several people talking at once and you could listen in on some very interesting conversations. 

We only had one phone, just as we only had one car and one bathroom.  Imagine?  And if we called anyone long distance we were supposed to shout.  After all, long distance meant the recipient was very far away, so we had to shout to be heard.

There were also phone booths on most street corners because nobody had cell phones.  There I go, dating myself again.  Mom always said, “Don’t forget to take a dime so you can make a phone call if you need help.”  If you forgot your dime, you could always ask at a nearby store or gas station, “May I please use your phone?”

Not Smart Enough for a Smart Phone

So, I love my phone!  I love the one in my pocket or purse and I love the three we have at home.  We even did away with the land line phone and all ours are now “cells.”  Imagine?  I guess I’m not smart enough for a smart phone yet though.  They say you have to take a course to learn how to operate one.  And they have something called “apps.”  I don’t think I need apps, whatever they are.

The only time I have been annoyed with my wonderful not-so-smart ignorant phone is when a local guitarist-teacher- musician’s phone number was one digit off mine.  Students and would-be students were calling constantly to make or break appointments and would leave lengthy messages.  He is a very popular teacher. I finally connected with him and the problem was solved.  Guess his phone got smart and changed its number.

Invisible Friends

But I love my phone so much I have joined the crowd of people who immediately call people on their “cells” when the airplane’s wheels touch ground!  And I love watching people who walk around waving their arms and making hand gesture to seemingly invisible people. 

And I love being able to call home if I’m going to be late, or to call for an emergency tow, or not to have to remember a phone number because it’s programmed into the “cell.”  On the other hand, I almost forgot my own number once!  Imagine?

Phones make for wonderful stories don’t they?   Who knew?

Related articles

• Call Me, Maybe (thelissachronicles.wordpress.com)
• Daily Prompt: Call Me, Maybe (yourfriendmel.wordpress.com)

Read Full Post »