The final indignity that has opted me out of modern gadgetry was an old reliable pedometer that finally ran out of batteries .
And of course, no one could figure out how to open the battery box.
Maybe it was frozen in shock at how few steps I walked in the last five years.
I mourned that little pedometer and somehow knew a substitute would require a Masters’ Degree in Programming and hours of frustration to get up and running walking.
Forced to buy a new pedometer- three or four new ones to be exact- they all challenged my intelligence.
It’s not that I’m not intelligent. I used to be considered a bright child.
But that was in the good old days when life was simple. There were no huge technological innovations calculated to make things easier.
Life was easy enough with Off and On switches you might have to get up for.
But I am ranting.
Even after hours of reading and re-reading I could not decipher the directions to all the new pedometers stacking up in a secret hiding place reserved for storing complicated gadgets.
Asking for help, as you may know, is humiliating.
But trying one last time, I ordered a supposedly SIMPLE PEDOMETER that “is operational right out of the box!”
Really?
I could hardly contain my excitement when it came – a simple little drop-in-your-pocket pedometer with great big Easy Read Numbers and a little pull-tag.
I pulled the tag (according to the directions) and it was ready to go! No intelligence required!
But where were the instructions to program calories burned, body mass indexes, breaths per minute, miles consumed, muscle contractions, levels of perspiration, or all that other irrelevant stuff? Not there. What a relief!
All I ever wanted to know was STEPS!
And, although I hardly believe it, this little gadget ONLY REGISTERS STEPS!
No need to purchase another 550 page book on Pedometers for Dummies (I wonder if there really is such a book)! I already have Computers for Dummies, Windows 10 for Dummies, and Office for Dummies, plus a few more.
“By golly,” as they used to say in the good old days, when I was intelligent, “Someone has figured out how to regress to simpler times.” Kudos to the inventor of this precious little Steps Only Pedometer!
And now maybe I can fool the world into thinking I have a Master’s Degree in Programming.
Why can’t everything else be this easy?
Why do I always have to pull out the directions for my self cleaning oven?
Shouldn’t I just be able to hit “Clean??
There may be a dummies book for the pedometer, Dor. They seem to have one for everything. Did you try to search YouTube for instructions?
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One of these days they’re going to make a pedometer that walks for us LOL!! You should see what my new car can do. It would blow your mind. If I stray too far to one side of the road or the other, the steering wheel actually turns and forces me back over! If I go more than 10km over the speed limit, it talks to me and gets mad. If I remove my hands from the steering wheel, it tells me to “place hands on steering wheel”. And the best of all, it pretty much drives itself. I set the cruise control, and if someone stops to turn in front of me, my car brakes and then accelerates all by itself after they have turned. I don’t have to touch the brake or the accelerator. It’s really kind of freaky :).
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I, too, am challenged technically. I ordered a simple pedometer (I thought!) and I had to get the hubby to program it for me. Guess what. I only used it for a few months. Yeah, I suck!
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I am so with you! Just bought a washer and went for the simplest. Not only don’t I understand or need things like a steam cycle but it buggers up the controls with stuff I have to remember not to hit. My husband went through a couple gadgets that track heart rate and other exercise stuff. He said they didn’t work. I suspect he didn’t know how to work them. He got a simple one and life is good again.
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Lucky you! The pedometer I bought when I was walking (before plantar fasciitis set in) had some other features, which I just opted not to use. BUT, we have a 4-mile long bridge that we cross to our nearest “big city”, and if I wasn’t careful, that pedometer would log about 100 steps during our trip across the bridge. Nearly every bump registered as a step!
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I give up easily on instructions and directions Jill – and so does Bill. We both try to “wing it” first and then blunder our way around to the point of surrender. 🙂
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Bill wants to know what kind of car you got and I have forgotten. I hope he is thinking we are due too since our “new” car is 10 years old! How lucky you are to have all those bells and whistles – especially the ones that protect you from veering off the road or plowing into something in front. So, you can now make a car trip here with the new wheels:)
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All the new technologies are worth a try but I just know I will always prefer simplicity. I love having the simple little pedometer in my pocket every day. At the end of the day there is a pretty good idea of how much I moved. I now know my baseline average is 2,000 steps – ambling around the house doing usual chores. Trying now to “up” the baseline to 4,000, etc. etc. by parking farther away in lots and making the extra trip to the far side of the grocery store. Seems to be working so far. 🙂
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Hurrah! I am proud to include you and your husband in my Inept Technologist Club! 🙂
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Hahaha! Oh I would love to have a bridge like that Dianna! I look for any way to deceive myself and those bumps that register 100 steps a trip would be just the thing. 🙂
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I’m all for living the “on” “off” life. I despise anything beyond that concept. My husband just got himself a smart watch. I now call him Bond
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You are living proof that life is best lived one step at a time.
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Exactly!
My Mum’s visiting us at the moment, and she keeps on saying, “What’s that?!”, so befuddled is she by all the pinging, dinging and ringing of the various appliances and gadgets in our house. Not only does one need a Masters’ Degree in Programming, but also an audio-dictionary.
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We got a 2015 Dodge Charger. It is a year old, so it really dropped the price which was great! We already have a 2010 Charger, and we absolutely love it! This was is even better though – you and Bill should totally get one :).
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And yes, it would be perfect for a road trip to Virginia. I’m working on Mikey :).
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Hurrah! I have unearthed a fellow relic! 🙂
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That is putting it succinctly Al. Thank you! 🙂
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I’m sure I would react the same way as your Mom about all the “pinging, ringing and dinging.” Your house must be on the “cutting edge.” 🙂
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I will definitely relay this information to Bill, although he has been known to keep a car for 17 years. We have one now. 🙂
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O.k.!!! Get up and go!!! We are waiting and you can stay at our place! 🙂
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I’m with you! Give me simple, PLEASE!
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What? A pedometer and there’s no “app for that?”
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I believe I did try a pedometer app but my phone was too big for a pants pocket. Then got a wrist thing that I kept forgetting to charge. So now back to basics. 🙂
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