When I was young and wrinkle free (never mind care free), I thought the first sign of aging would be a gray hair followed by a wrinkle. I also believed the old hag image could be avoided by eating and sleeping right and using all the miracle creams advertised on television and in magazines.
Hope is a many splendored thing, but the truth is harder to take.
Over time, there were signals that healthy living and preening were not quite succeeding:
- Police-people began to look like children. I wondered why little kids were assigned for protection.
- My doctor was the same age as my son! He is still the same age as my son but now they both look middle aged while I still feel 18. (?) Who can explain this? Note: I didn’t say I LOOK 18!
- Then a nice young man at the supermarket began saying, “Yes Maam.” Was he talking to ME? REALLY? Should I call him “Son?”
- Then another nice young man somewhere opened a door for me. Hasn’t he heard that chivalry is already dead? YOUNG women open their own doors. I CAN OPEN MY OWN DOOR – THANK YOU!
- Oh NO! the first gray hair came and went (ouch!) but suddenly there were waaaay too many.
- The first wrinkle was a frown line. Oh well, that could be blocked out with photo slight of hand. You will never see a wrinkle in my selfies! Ha! I got THAT down pat.
- In airports, people seem to think I am lost or confused. “Do you need help?” they ask. Hmmmmm. It’s odd but I usually do.
- Magazine ads stop giving beauty hints when they get to the “Over ___” category
- Salespeople exclaim, “Oh, my grandmother bought one of those and she just LOVES it.”
- The AARP card has some real advantages – like free coffee – even if I don’t even have to show the card.
- My grandgirls look the same age as I think I look until I look in the mirror. I am considering hanging black shrouds over mirrors!
Perhaps there is a vitamin to ward off the old hag image. Only I know how many weird vitamin supplements are taking up space in my kitchen cabinet(s) and they are all secretly labeled “Hope dashed. Store for later discard.”
Yes, hope is a many splendored thing, and I am still in favor of eating right, sleeping right, and exercising for energy and good looks.
I have been duly warned by the experts however, that with healthful living and of course, the most expensive beauty products, I will look 20 years younger and live long enough to enjoy 15 minutes more a day drooling in my soup.
Cute post….. sigh…. I’m right there with ya, my friend. Love getting the senior discount, but it’s a little depressing to not have to ASK for it….
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Your list covers many of the signs of aging I have experienced too! Thank goodness we can still laugh about it. But I really hate being called “Sweetie!” Another great post! Forget those black shrouds, Dor, you don’t need them.
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Oh, Dor, you’re such a stitch – thanks for the laugh. I hate to admit that I’ve started looking at wrinkle creams and horrors, even thought of dying my gorgeous gray locks – temporary lapse of sanity. 😉
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I’m right there with you! That was a fun read, even if it was all too true.
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My first warning sign was when I went to the doctor to complain about having trouble hiking ten miles. Her answer to me was the first clue, “Well at your age…”
I would have heard the rest of what she said if I’d actually bought the hear aids.
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Hahaha! The challenge will be to make a list of the “positives” in the aging process. 🙂
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Now there is a scary thought coastalcrone – eliminating the black shrouds! 🙂
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You, Eliza, are beautiful “as is.” 🙂
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Truth is not only stranger but maybe better than fiction. 🙂 Thanks Anne.
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Hahaha! Andrew – I have a feeling there are a lot of laughs at your doctor’s office. 🙂
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I’m feeling the same way, feeling like I’m in my 20’s but realizing I’m turning 55 this March is uber sobering😳! Why do I look one way in my home mirror and completely different when I pass one in a dept store, lol?! Don’t feel alone is all I’m sayin😜
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Why, thank you so much! 🙂
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I knew I was old at #8. I love fashion and beauty articles (not that you’d know it). Especially the one with tips on looking better. Why do they stop at women who are 50? Don’t the rest of us want to look good or is there just no hope of it happening? Fun post but wayyyyy to close to home!
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It was a shock to me when I was sweetly asked at the grocery store, “Do you qualify for the over 55 10% discount.” The nerve……..
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Good points. I received yet another letter from AARP today. Go away!
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They love me there. 😉
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Too funny!
A few years ago my husband had back surgery. His surgeon was so young (like he looked like he should still be in high school. I mean how was he even old enough to have done his residency?)…I hate to admit I was distrustful even though he’s one of the best in the area. And yes, he did an excellent job.
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Great post, Dor! I agree with you on doctors, dentists and other professionals looking like babies. Let just keep in mind how much more wisdom we have. 🙂
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It is true there are more aches and pains, but it also seems universally true that few who are past the age of consent feel any different emotionally than the day they turned 18 or 19.
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This is great! I remember the day a young kid in a school uniform (they still wear them here) politely offered me his sit on a public bus … later in one of my posts I wrote: “Unsuspected youth wearing regulation uniform of respectable school offers you a seat on the public bus. You look around for the older person the seat was intended for. There aren’t any!”
Such as life -:)!
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Oh Dorann this is just hilarious and I see so much of myself in what you write. My husband keeps reminding me that while everyone keeps looking younger, it is only because I really am just getting older! Love the 1st!
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It’s lovely to find a friend with the same fearsome feelings! Thanks Kim. 🙂
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Maybe we look so good, the under 50’s just can’t compete! 🙂
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Well, at least they ask you. They don’t bother to ask me on Tuesdays at our local grocery store but we only get 5% discount! I refuse to shop there on Tuesdays. I have my image to protect. 🙂
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They know when you are eligible John. They just know. 🙂
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Hahahaha! I’ll bet! 🙂
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A few years ago I had a rapid heartbeat. The young dr gave me a pill in his office. “How long will it take to work?” I asked. And he answered that he had to go look it up!
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Thank you and of course you are right Jill. The problem is I think I know more than those doctors do! 🙂
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“Right on” Charlie! Let us remain 18 or 19 forever even if we don’t look the part. 🙂
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Thank you Daniela. Oh, “the shock and awe” and the dismay of being recognized for antique qualities. 🙂
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Nawwww Mary! It’s the age of technology right? Amazing what technology can do to transform doctors and police to younger and younger versions.
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I suppose they know my genetic sequence too. And my date of death. Ugh.
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I love this post Dora, Of course everything you say is bang on. The Greek young girls here are to be envied with their lovely long curly locks and oh ! those gorgeous big eyes. Oh to be young again eh. So when I go into town I really feel my age even though everyone tells me I don’t look it even John agrees with them. I have to take the compliment but think to myself, they are just being kind. I try not to look in the mirror but how can one not when we have to comb our hair etc., As my John says. You have to join the Old Age club but you can’t get out of it. Grand children remind us every time we see them by simple saying Hi GRANDMA !!
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I already drool in my sleep, and it ain’t pretty. 😁
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I like your thinking.
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Yes….”Big Brother is watching you…..” so stay alert! 🙂
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The trick is in the art of self deception Rita…. pretending we look like we felt once upon a long time ago. 🙂 Maybe as part of the plot we can ask our grandchildren to call us by our first names?
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Babies do that. I do too. Perhaps we are regressing but need to stop the return spiral. I would like to return to the glorious teens or 20’s instead of going all the way back to infancy though. 🙂
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Fab idea Dora, They already call their Mother and Father by their Christian names. So I will suggest they do the same for me.
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Well, from all of the comments made on this post, it certainly looks like we are in excellent company! At least we can still laugh! I was talking to someone the other day who was shocked…I say shocked!!… at my real age. She told me she thought I was in my late 40’s. Oh, I think she will be my new best friend! 😉
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Ooooo! I am envious. Nobody has been shocked by my real age in a long long time. 😦
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I’m in the “over -” class too and was so entertained by a young man asking to see my ID in the wine shop the other day. He was well trained 🙂
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I had a doctor appointment about 10 or more years ago (that to say, I was not even as old as I am now). The receptionist, who appeared to be barely out of high school called me honey. That is so wrong! Unless maybe you live in the South.
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I thought I’d be different and not get flustered about AARP notices, physical changes, and the fact that I have 6 grandchildren. But I still avoid mentioning that my oldest grandchild is a freshman in college! That REALLY makes me sound ancient!
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ANoyyyying – even in the south! 🙂
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Ah Ronnie… our grandkids are passing us by in the game of life and us sounding ancient is part of the whole nasty plot. 🙂
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Hahaha! Thanks for visiting my blog Tiny. Love it that you were being “carded” in the wine shop, but was the young man drinking? 🙂
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That’s what I asked him, when he insisted that I show him my ID. Our exchange was quite entertaining.
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I may not exactly in your wiser age group, but I remember a friend and I talking a few years ago. We could not believe that we were still “young” and yet our baby nieces/nephews were in high school. We have a saying in Zambia that “no drum is beat to indicate that you are older”. It’s true – age just creeps up on you.
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Just remember, it’s not how we look. It’s how we feel inside, and I still feel like I’m in my 20’s. I also truly believe that the secret is laughter, and I know you do a lot of that :). Keep smiling my friend and enjoy life!!
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Your post made me smile, well there is so much truth in it …
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Thank you Cecilia for your sweet comment and for visiting my blog. 🙂
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I really feel old when my students act stunned that I know how to use a computer, know about certain entertainment figures or cultural references.
We’re not getting older. It’s our mirrors and our glasses. They just need cleaning. 😉
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I’ll be right back…. going to check my glasses now! 🙂
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Haha! I noticed they don’t give beauty tips for my age group any more. I appreciate anyone who opens a door for me. (Are we supposed to tip them?) The end of your post reminded me of a joke–the husband and wife were at Heaven’s gate, enraptured by the beauty. He reminds her they could have been there YEARS AGO if she hadn’t made him eat those bran muffins. Are you getting snow over there?
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LOL! Patti – I love the Heaven’s gate story! And yes – we have had 7 inches of snow today and they are still predicting two feet more overnight. I heard on the news that the Nat’l Guard has been called in for Lexington, VA and surrounding area (us). We are hoping that prediction is wrong, but we think we are prepared for whatever comes our way. Thanks my friend, for asking. 🙂
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We got a covering of snow earlier, but now it’s raining like crazy! We may see more snow Saturday, and high winds. Glad you’re safely tucked in for the duration–though I hope it doesn’t stick around too long.
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A college friend put it this way: There’s an old man who lives around here somewhere. I only see him in the morning when I brush his teeth and comb what’s left of his hair, then again at night when I brush his teeth again. The rest of the time, I’m just me.
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Good one and exactly right! Thanks Esther and thanks for visiting my blog. 🙂
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