When I was young and wrinkle free (never mind care free), I thought the first sign of aging would be a gray hair followed by a wrinkle. I also believed the old hag image could be avoided by eating and sleeping right and using all the miracle creams advertised on television and in magazines.
Hope is a many splendored thing, but the truth is harder to take.
Over time, there were signals that healthy living and preening were not quite succeeding:
- Police-people began to look like children. I wondered why little kids were assigned for protection.
- My doctor was the same age as my son! He is still the same age as my son but now they both look middle aged while I still feel 18. (?) Who can explain this? Note: I didn’t say I LOOK 18!
- Then a nice young man at the supermarket began saying, “Yes Maam.” Was he talking to ME? REALLY? Should I call him “Son?”
- Then another nice young man somewhere opened a door for me. Hasn’t he heard that chivalry is already dead? YOUNG women open their own doors. I CAN OPEN MY OWN DOOR – THANK YOU!
- Oh NO! the first gray hair came and went (ouch!) but suddenly there were waaaay too many.
- The first wrinkle was a frown line. Oh well, that could be blocked out with photo slight of hand. You will never see a wrinkle in my selfies! Ha! I got THAT down pat.
- In airports, people seem to think I am lost or confused. “Do you need help?” they ask. Hmmmmm. It’s odd but I usually do.
- Magazine ads stop giving beauty hints when they get to the “Over ___” category
- Salespeople exclaim, “Oh, my grandmother bought one of those and she just LOVES it.”
- The AARP card has some real advantages – like free coffee – even if I don’t even have to show the card.
- My grandgirls look the same age as I think I look until I look in the mirror. I am considering hanging black shrouds over mirrors!
Perhaps there is a vitamin to ward off the old hag image. Only I know how many weird vitamin supplements are taking up space in my kitchen cabinet(s) and they are all secretly labeled “Hope dashed. Store for later discard.”
Yes, hope is a many splendored thing, and I am still in favor of eating right, sleeping right, and exercising for energy and good looks.
I have been duly warned by the experts however, that with healthful living and of course, the most expensive beauty products, I will look 20 years younger and live long enough to enjoy 15 minutes more a day drooling in my soup.
Virginia Views 