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Posts Tagged ‘AARP’

When I was young and wrinkle free (never mind care free), I thought the first sign of aging would be a gray hair followed by a wrinkle.  I also believed the old hag image could be avoided by eating and sleeping right and using all the miracle creams advertised on television and in magazines.

Hope is a many splendored thing, but the truth is harder to take.

Over time, there were signals that healthy living and preening were not quite succeeding:

  1. Police-people began to look like children. I wondered why little kids were assigned for protection.
  2. My doctor was the same age as my son!  He is still the same age as my son but now they both look middle aged while I still feel 18. (?)  Who can explain this?  Note:  I didn’t say I LOOK 18!
  3. Then a nice young man at the supermarket began saying, “Yes Maam.”  Was he talking to ME? REALLY?  Should I call him “Son?”
  4. Then another nice young man somewhere opened a door for me.  Hasn’t he heard that chivalry is already dead?  YOUNG women open their own doors. I CAN OPEN MY OWN DOOR – THANK YOU!
  5. Oh NO!  the first gray hair came and went (ouch!) but suddenly there were waaaay too many.
  6. The first wrinkle was a frown line.  Oh well, that could be blocked out with photo slight of hand.  You will never see a wrinkle in my selfies!  Ha!  I got THAT down pat.
  7. In airports,  people seem to think I am lost or confused.  “Do you need help?” they ask.  Hmmmmm.  It’s odd but I usually do.
  8. Magazine ads stop giving beauty hints when they get to the “Over ___” category
  9. Salespeople exclaim, “Oh, my grandmother bought one of those and she just LOVES it.”
  10. The AARP card has some real advantages – like free coffee – even if  I don’t even have to show the card.
  11. My grandgirls look the same age as I think I look until I look in the mirror.  I am considering hanging black shrouds over mirrors!

 Perhaps there is a vitamin to ward off the old hag image.  Only I know how many weird vitamin supplements are taking up space in my kitchen cabinet(s) and they are all secretly labeled “Hope dashed.  Store for later discard.”

Yes, hope is a many splendored thing, and I am still in favor of eating right, sleeping right, and exercising for energy and good looks.

I have been duly warned by the experts however, that with healthful living and of course, the most expensive beauty products, I will look 20 years younger and live long enough to enjoy 15 minutes more a day drooling in my soup.

 

 

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