A Bear! A Bear!

A Virginia Black Bear

Two campers are walking through the forest when they suddenly encounter a bear.  The bear rears up on his hind legs and lets out a terrifying roar.  Both campers are frozen in their tracks.  The first camper whispers, “I’m sure glad I wore my running shoes today.”  “It doesn’t matter what kind of shoes you’re wearing, you’re not gonna outrun that bear,” replies the second.  “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU,” he answers.  

They say, “If you think you have seen a bear, you have”.   Bears are supposedly shy, reclusive creatures unless they are very hungry or if you take them by surprise.   I have lived here 24 years and never saw a bear – until today.

 Today was different.

A quiet afternoon chat with my husband was quickly interrupted.  I was seated facing him and a living room window behind him, when I  saw a flash of black moving outside in the driveway.  No idea how I knew, but I instantly recognized it as a bear!

I jumped up and whisper-shouted, “Bill – Look! Look! Look!  It’s a Bear!”

And sure enough, a young Bruno was walking along with a prize fighter’s swagger, slightly bow legged, and presenting a picture of a lithe, lean, very black, Virginia  bear in motion.  Why our big bad guard dog, Rozie,  was not barking, I’ll never know.  Bill estimated the bear was 150 pounds.  I estimate closer to 250 pounds, but then I tend to exaggerate imminent danger.

It didn’t seem real at first.  A BEAR was actually in our driveway?  And acting like he was just stopping by to say hello?

And he was heading straight for the garage and the door was open!  Uh Oh!  But Bruno didn’t seem interested in penetrating the interior to wreak havoc.  Instead he ambled along the exterior wall of the garage and around to the back of the house.

He’s in the orchard!

Now we could see him clearly from the kitchen window as he headed for our Peach Orchard.

Orchard? Ha!  There are precisely two trees there, and although they bear  yield delicious fruit, we have only shared one peach in 24 years.  Trust me, this is true.  We compete with squirrels, deer, crows – and now bears? I call it Sustaining Wildlife Habitat but secretly I’m jealous.   Anyway, that’s where Bruno was heading.   And we were able to creep outside onto the deck to watch his next moves.

He’s pulling on the tree branches and shaking the fruit loose!  Clever fellow, but if he can shake a whole tree, what could he do to me?

And he’s sitting down for a peach feast.  OMG, we are witnessing a Bear Picnic!

He’s on his way again, hits on the second tree,  and comes to a three-board fence, bends down, and nonchalantly steps on through like he has done it a million times before.  Maybe he has?  Has he been here before?  Where was my trusty watch dog?  Where is she now?  Why isn’t she barking?

Finally, Bruno is into the woods and going, going, gone from our view.

MY HUSBAND AND I ARE THRILLED!  IT WAS A NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC MOMENT THAT LASTED ABOUT 15 MINUTES AND WE WILL NEVER FORGET IT!  AND OUR BIG BAD GUARD DOG, ROZIE MISSED THE WHOLE THING.

As you can probably tell, I could not tear myself away from our eyewitness adventure long enough to get my camera.  Shugar! – as they say “outchere” in the county.

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My Oh My Moment!   from Mama’s Empty Nest

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