A Ten Step Magical Exercise Routine

There is a trick (I have learned the hard way) to staying fit while being unbalanced and dragging around a cement block (the big Air-Cam Walker Boot attached to Dor’s foot).

Actually, there are two tricks to gaining strength and even losing weight.

One is for the upper body called the GWee Gym which is a portable elasticized thing. You can establish some rather nice routines with this neat little gadget but I have only used it once in these first weeks of adjustment.

Image from http://www.desiwarrior.com

This is because my upper body is too tired

from dragging around the cement block on my lower body.

Yesterday, however, I discovered a build-up-your-LEGS-exercise that, with practice, will turn me into the Wonder Woman I always wanted to be.

I know this sounds like a modern fairy tale, but if you are interested in a Magical Muscle Building Technique (even if you have no Air-Cam Cement Block Boot on your leg) read on:

Note:  The electrical go-carts at the big grocery stores

are the Exercise Machines of Choice.

1. Climb on a go-cart and tootle around filling the basket to your heart’s content.
2. Go all the way to the back of the store.
3. At this point you should run out of batteries.
4. Now walk to the front of the store.
5. Pick up a regular push cart you have to manage on your own two feet.
6. Now walk it to the back of the store to meet your dead go-cart.
7. Transfer all the many items you have purchased from the electric cart to the “real” cart.
8. Now walk to the front of the store again and pick up another “charged” cart and finish shopping.
9. If there is any battery life left, drive the 2nd electric cart back to the real cart and transfer all remaining items again.
10. And finally, walk the real cart to the front of the store to check out.

Note:  This routine does not even include the walk to the car or loading and unloading the stuff in the lot and at home.

Image from quotesgram.com

I have noticed I am losing weight and getting stronger hips and legs.

I’m sure it’s because of all these magical exercises so I will keep doing them right into the New Year!

Tomorrow starts the New Year!  Time to roll over on the right side again!

HAPPY NEW YEAR my friends.    Happy New Year!

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A Foolproof Diet

I have been on a “diet” most of my life and am always shocked at how many different approaches there are to achieving a slim profile.   I think my slimmest profile was probably at birth because the search for a foolproof diet has never ended.

Well imagine my delight when looking through a box of old memories I stumbled upon forgotten words of wisdom from my long-departed mother.  The yellowed crackly piece of paper inspired my imagination.  I had found a long lost treasure on how to lose weight.

Talk about excited!

I was so thrilled I immediately began retyping the whole thing – for you, my friends, who may also be in search of a diet with a guarantee. And I graciously accept your words of gratitude (in advance) for sharing this with you now.

A WEIGHT LOSS DIET GUARANTEED TO WORK

BECAUSE MY WISE OLD MOM ONCE TOLD ME SO:

Monday

Breakfast – Weak tea.

Lunch – One bouillon cube, half cup diluted water.

Dinner – One pigeon thigh, 3 ounces prune juice (gargle only).

Tuesday

Breakfast – Scraped crumbs of burnt toast.

Lunch – One doughnut hole without sugar, one glass dehydrated water.

Dinner – One fish egg – shad or sturgeon (minced).

Wednesday

Breakfast – Shredded egg shell skins.

Lunch – Belly button from navel orange.

Dinner – 3 eyes from Irish potatoes (diced).

Thursday

Breakfast – Half ounce strained unflavored jello with one peeled grape.

Lunch – Half dozen poppy seeds.

Dinner – Bee’s knees and mosquito knuckles sauté with vinegar.

Friday

Breakfast – Two lobster antennae.

Lunch – One guppy fin.

Dinner – Fillet of soft shelled crab claw.

Saturday

Breakfast – Four chopped banana seeds.

Lunch – Broiled butterfly liver.

Dinner – Jellyfish vertebrae a la bookbinder.

Sunday

Breakfast – Pickled hummingbird tongues.

Lunch – Prime ribs of tadpole and aroma of empty custard pie plate.

Dinner – Tossed paprika and clover leaf (one).

Notice:  All meals to be eaten under microscope to avoid extra portions.

Good luck with this diet my friends.

You have now met my Mom, whose sense of humor was one of her most remarkable traits.

She is long gone to her better place, but comes back to me in strange and wonderful ways.

Silhouette of successful weight loss figure from www.fatlossmentality.com .

 

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