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Posts Tagged ‘Thieves’

Golden Welcom PlaqueOne of my favorite bloggers at Life in the Boomer Lane recently created a list of ways to deter thieves (and 16 year olds).  Don’t miss her hilarious post.  It inspired me to expound further because I couldn’t help thinking of additional ways to discourage home and car burglars.

HOW TO SAVE YOUR CAR FROM THIEVES

Dings and Dents are Good

There is a big dent in my car’s back fender and a collection of scratch marks (some rusted) on the side.  I purposefully leave it that way.  If I cannot afford to repair the dings, would there be anything worth stealing?  Thief Mentality:  “Skip that car.”

 

Rich People Don’t Leave Messes

I try to leave garbage strewn around the car – like wadded up tissues, leftover candy wrappers and fast food to-go bags.  Rich people usually don’t leave messes.  I must admit I am, in reality, an exquisit-ly neat person (and always on a health-food regime) but the question is – why not get a little messy?

Mud and Muck May Help

Our Virginia country lanes are always dusty and I do tend to leave the car unwashed, sometimes muddy, and in dire need of window washing.  Getting a clear view of the road is the challenge but it is well known that wealthy people have shiny cars. Thief Psychology:  “These people are not rich.  Skip that car.”

Dusty Car

 

HOW TO SAVE YOUR HOME FROM THIEVES

No Fancy Front Doors 

I really would like to have a fancy front door.  Don’t you love those magnificent double doors with stained glass panels that  open to a cathedral like foyer with a curving staircase?  Well, I have curtailed the impulse.  My house is one level (no stairs except to the basement) and there are no cathedral ceilings anywhere.

And of course, a plain unassuming run-of-the-mill front door shouts, “Nothing here of value.”  And if it is ugly that’s another bonus because there is surely nothing worth stealing inside the house.   Thief Psychology:  “Ugly door.  Skip that house.”

An Ordinary Door

An Ordinary Door

The Only Spiral Staircase at Our house

The Only Spiral Staircase at Our house

Get a Big Dog

I have been told by country locals to get a big noisy dog.  A big dog is supposed to be the best protection.

Bill and I did have two big beautiful Golden Retrievers named Peaches and Carrie.  If someone came to the door I would shout, “DOWN SPIKE!”  But they were truly the gentlest kindest dogs I have ever known.

Peaches & Carrie

Peaches and Carrie

Rozie At Her Best

Rozie

We then inherited a menacing looking dog named Rozie.  She stopped strong men in their tracks with her snarling, growling countenance.  The trouble was, she was also a big lover whose bite was literally nonexistent.  She did kill a groundhog once though (which offered no protection from human thieves).

You can buy audio recordings of barking dogs but I can tell by the static that it’s a recording.  I suppose a thief would know that too.  A real live biting dog would surely be a greater deterrent.

I do want a dog anyway since having lost our sweet beauties to the ravages of old age, but now considering a cuddly lap dog who may be more vicious after all.  Thief Psychology:  “Oooops. That little dog may actually bite.  Skip that house.”

Do you have secret tips to share too?

Of course the above suggestions for saving home and car are not to be taken literally, but if you try them and are still “burgled”, I hereby claim no responsibility for anything lost, mangled – or stolen.

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Groceries-in-Brown-Paper-BagI once knew an elderly woman named Betty who was tougher than she looked and smarter than most thieves.

She was robbed twice by purse snatchers because she looked vulnerable and couldn’t fight back.

After the second robbery, Betty became aggravated and plotted her revenge.

Did I mention that Betty was a diabolical woman?

She transferred everything that was in her purse to a brown paper shopping bag (the kind you can still get in most grocery stores).  So her money, her identification, and her charge cards were all in the bottom of a grocery bag which she carried around with a few groceries poking out the top.  From that day on, if you saw Betty on the move, you would see her with her shopping bag.

She also carried around her “real” purse with a couple of rocks inside (for a little heft) and always had it slung over her shoulder.  And that’s the way Betty walked in public for the rest of her days.  

Results:

Betty was robbed once again.

But this time, the purse snatcher snatched her purse!

Surprise!  Betty had the last laugh!

This is a true story.  And didn’t I tell you Betty was a diabolical woman?

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