A One-Foibled Woman’s Shameful Secret

Photo from http://thepennyhoarder.com

Being a perfectly perfect person in my own eyes (if I don’t look in the mirror too often), I hate to admit I have certain FOIBLES.

Actually, there is only one real foible and the secret is now being shamefully announced through cyberspace.

Please do not judge this harshly but,

I DO NOT LIKE TO SHARE POPCORN!

IN FACT, I HATE SHARING POPCORN!

Perhaps this sounds selfish.

Yes, it really is selfish.

But consider this from my perfectly perfect point of view:

1. Hands carry germs and if you are germaphobic (like moi),
2. Sharing anything with germy hands involved is HORROR-FYING.
3. I like to eat the WHOLE Small, Medium, or Large size bag of popcorn all by myself.  I LOVE popcorn!  I want it ALL!
4. The noise created by strange fingers dipping in is maddening.  I want to listen to the movie UNDISTURBED, preferably in solitary confinement (alone with my popcorn bag).
5. Protecting territory or personal space (that popcorn bag) is essential to maintaining mental health.  I read that somewhere and it certainly does apply to popcorn bag holders.
6. And never mind “pass the popcorn please.”  Courtesy does not help.  You are still an invader, a noise maker, and undoubtedly carrying the flu virus!
7. Coming for a visit?  Now you know to stay clear of the One-Foibled-Woman when there is popcorn involved!.  Ignore this warnng at your own peril.
8. The popcorn is MINE!  Why am I expected to share it and made to feel guilty if I don’t?
9. But I ask you fellow bloggers, isn’t there something admirable about a woman with only one foible?
10. And do you think blogging is beginning to take its toll on my perfectly perfect one-foibled life?

From http://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/foible :  Sometimes a foible helps make a person who they are, even if the foible, or weakness (“feeble” is a close relative), is a little odd. Synonyms for foible in a negative sense are “failing,” “shortcoming,” and in a more positive sense “quirk,” “eccentricity.” It can likewise be annoying or endearing. Most people have a foible, or idiosyncrasy, that stands out to others, but interestingly, a person rarely sees his or her own characteristic foible.

 

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On a Clear Day

 

On a Clear Day You Can See Forever was a movie released in 1970. 

The star was Barbara Streisand.

But I remember the phrase more for having heard it over and over again on a long ago trip to Switzerland.   I was the so-called Director of International Activities for a trade association accompanying groups of printers to Europe (for “educational purposes”).   In reality I was the unofficial complaint department mostly there to make sure the group stayed happy.

And there we were in Switzerland!  Endless views of beautiful mountain ranges right?

Mountains?  What mountains?  They told us there were mountains but the fog was so thick we could hardly see the farmer’s fields.

Our tour guide kept saying of the imaginary views, “On a clear day you can see forever!”   Even when we all went to what might have been the highest point on the Jungfrau, we saw nothing but fog and there our guide expounded again (albeit, apologetically), “On a clear day you can see forever.”

Now I realize I could not  blame him for something that was caused by the weather, but surely something could have been done for the sake of Americans expecting scenery to go with their visions of the Sound of Music.

Which brings me to today right here in the U.S.A. – no groups of tourists to please but it is definitely a clear day and you can actually see forever.  Travel is not necessary.

And after last night’s storm I am no longer a closet dweller!

And thank you so much to those who share my inordinate fear of storms.  “Misery loves company!”

Also thanks to those who so smugly reminded us they “love storms” and describe how they stand outside to watch.  I don’t know why I am thanking this group except to remind myself they have probably already been struck by lightning and don’t even know it.

Ahhhh – But on this clear day, I am strong, brave, and generous of spirit.

I love you all!

 

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An Exciting Night Out on the Town

Now that Bill and I are dogless, childless and footloose, we have rediscovered the movies! So tonight we wound up dinner and the dishes and off we went to catch a 7:00 PM show!

The film was Monuments Men.  I felt we were on a date again. What fun – a night out with no one to account to and nothing to account for.  We could lollygag all evening even though our little town closes down at 5:00 PM.

There is only one theater here, divided into three sections now – a big downstairs for the 3D stuff, and two little upstairs balcony seating for other films. We were  in the balcony.  If you don’t mind heights, it’s a heady experience.

We were seated next to another couple and I overheard them saying this was the second time they tried to see Monuments Men. Evidently there were no seats available the night before.

Their conversation was scintillating but I couldn’t wait for the movie to begin.  Ahhhh – here came the previews and the lights went out and we were ready to go.

Whoaaaaaa…. the previews were so loud I had to put my fingers in my ears.  Well, maybe that’s the way they do movies nowadays for drama and effect.  “Patience Dor, patience,” I kept telling myself.

Then someone came with a flashlight, heading for the top rungs of the balcony.  Would they lower the volume?

My My – what dark previews!  All very fuzzy and dim.  Ahh well, maybe they are making action films dimmer now.  Darkness adds to the suspense I guess.

At last, the feature presentation!

“I hope this opening scene is supposed to be at night,” I muttered to Bill.  Was my vision impaired or were the scenes in the movie blurry and lacking color?  “Maybe the whole film is dim on purpose,” I thought. “Maybe it’s to establish a depressing mood.”  Was I going blind or what?  I kept blinking and rubbing my eyes.

 And suddenly the movie abruptly stopped!

We were looking at a dark gloomy “still” as the audience sat in the dark wondering when the movie would begin again.

It didn’t.

The lights came on (supposedly so we could safely stumble out) and a kindly voice said a bulb needed replacing so they would not be showing Monuments Men tonight.  “We will give each of you either a raincheck or a refund,” the voice said.  “The raincheck is good for any film and never expires.”  And Bill mumbled, “Neither does money.”

Oddly this whole incident put me in a giggly mood since we were experiencing small town stumbling at its best. Yes, by golly, our wonderful little cinema has modern digital technology, but they got snookered by a simple light bulb!

Even the couple next to us trying to see this film for the second time, took their disappointment with laughter.  “What will you do tonight then?” someone asked.  “Maybe watch the Olympics I guess.”  And someone else said, “Three’s a charm.”

And the lady in front of us got free popcorn because she had eaten hers and there were a whole lot of un-popped kernels left in the bottom of her box.  Where else I ask you would you get customer service like that?

Bill and I will try again tomorrow night (providing our money has not expired) and after we confirm the light bulb has been replaced.

I can’t wait for another exciting night out on the town, especially if it once again leaves me grinning!

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Pillow Talk

No, it’s not THAT kind of talk.  Where is your mind after all?  Pillow Talk was a movie!

Barb of Before Morning Breaks, did a post that asked her followers what part of their lives would be good material for a movie.  I was stunned because I could not provide a coherent answer.  I was in the middle of writer’s block and saw my life as blah, bleh, and borrring.  But Barb’s personal advice went like this, “I know about that lizard you keep for a pet and that is not part of a normal day.”  Well, the lizard was just visiting, and I have nothing left for a pet but a paranoid, schizophrenic dog (perhaps fodder for another fabulous post?).  But then, maybe I could write about my pillow?!

Flashback to 3 months ago:  I woke up one morning and could hardly open my mouth.  Some would rejoice at this phenomenon, but I was trying to bite into a slice of toast and experienced a huge, horrible pain.  This was not particularly alarming because it had happened many years ago when my son was in diapers.

These diaper pins were used in the 1960s to fasten cloth diapers on babies.

In that long ago period just after the dinosaurs, diapers were made of cloth and had to be secured with diaper PINS!  My son was a squirmy baby who kicked and struggled so I held the pins in my mouth while controlling his flying little legs and I would CLENCH my teeth!  Result: I could not open my mouth wide enough to eat a sandwich.  A very wise dentist asked me, “Are you gritting your teeth?” Ha!  And once I discovered the diaper pins were the cause, I relaxed the clamped jaws and the whole problem disappeared.

Not so this time.  There are no diaper pins to deal with of course since my son is a grown man.  Another wise dentist said, “Maybe you are grinding your teeth at night.”  How could I control that?  There’s a device you can use like the football players and boxers do, but I fear that would keep me awake all night.  So, I have been suffering for 3 months.  Granted, it has slowed down my eating habits but weight loss is not a happy side effect.  I just take longer to devour the same amounts.

Where does the pillow come in?  Patience.

The pain in my jaw became even more troublesome to include shocking stabbing pains and the inability to yawn.  Have you any idea the frustration of a Half-Yawn?  Horrible!  Two more trips to the dentist and hundreds of dollars later, the pain was still there.  Until – –

Suddenly I had an idea.  Maybe it was my pillow!  I was fighting with the old pillow because it went flat over time (well, flatt-er).  I was boosting my head up with my fists and guess where those fists were braced?  Against my jaw!  So I bought a brand new pillow.  Sleeping got easier but the jaw pain stayed awhile.  Still, it seemed to get a little better each day.

My Hero!

This morning I yawned!  A full wide open, cover-your-mouth intake of breath to push the oxygen through this depraved deprived body, get the heart moving and provide a sense of well being. What a difference a pillow makes!  Doesn’t that sound like it would be a good song?

I LOVE MY PILLOW!   But  Barb, do you honestly think this is movie material?

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