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Posts Tagged ‘Learning’

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I have decided to quit. 

I am tired of progress.

This gift is another very special thing that must be learned.

And I am tired of learning.

The school room was the place for that along with a younger more receptive mind.  And if you learned something well and once, it was good for a lifetime.  Well mostly.

When I was 17 I had a job as a gopher (go-fer this and go-fer that) and they told me if I learned to clean and operate an Ozalid machine, I would have some invaluable knowledge for life.  Noone I know today has ever heard of an Ozalid machine, have you?

Nowadays, however, if you learn a thing and think you have it stored and always ready to draw upon “you have another think coming.”  Nope.  If you learn one part of a computer it may be useless in a matter of hours.

Here I am with a shiny new computer I am calling Ogar (short for Ogre) that was given to me for Christmas with great love by my whole family.  I am truly grateful since the old object of their affection, which I had partially learned after 5 years of struggling was showing signs of ultimate collapse.

Groan.  How can I disparage such a thoughtful wonderful gift? 

Well, the process of transferring all the old stuff to the new Ogar may sound easy but HA!  Not so.  The process is more like a pulling a tooth.  You mindlessly explore with the tongue for a ghostly apparition of what might still be there, but in the end all the exploration yields only a gaping empty space.

My sweet family saw this sleek new marvel would not only replace the 5 year old relic, but it would  also keep me busy whilst waiting for a Covid-19 vaccine.  In addition to proving how warm hearted my family is, there is also an element of logic there.

Ogar is definitely a time guzzler.

And better Ogar than Covid right?

Ogar is certainly keeping me busy too, creating a roadmap of wrinkles upon my brow.   Thankfully I call upon my son to guide me through all the myriad options chasing an insane cursor through a maze of intricate maneuvers over an increasingly insane canvas. And only my son really knows where the mercurial sensor is going or why.

“You see that thing that looks like a cog?” he asks in his effort to guide me through all the symbols.

A cog? 

How do I know what a cog looks like? 

Where on this page of icons, symbols and totems is there a cog?

 “Settings?”  “Oh, you mean SETTINGS!”

I am definitely retiring from Progress.

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Stop learning?

Who would ever make such a declaration?

At my first job I was taught to operate, clean and maintain an Ozalid machine.  “Learn this and you will always be able to find work for the rest of your life”, they said.   Does anyone know what an Ozalid machine is today? Ha!

Then I learned all about Mimeograph machines.  Anybody ever hear of that? Ha!

Lessons from Other Galaxies

Today the need to divorce myself from “new” technologies came back about a year ago with the gift of a new cell phone.  It is a Samsung Galaxy S4 that was supposed to be top of the line and even transformed itself into an ever-present camera.

“This will be good for the next 10 years,” I thought but it took  a year to find a phone number in an emergency.

And in what seems like minutes there is now a Galaxy 5 and I haven’t even learned 4!

Facebooking Translations Gone Where?

I remember not long ago a beloved grandgirl created a FB dictionary for me (to simplify things).  It was a listing of the lingo for translations of Facebook messages.  Even abbreviations like “I luv u 4 sentimental reasons” seem to have disappeared and I haven’t memorized the list yet. Where have they all gone?

I am for Low Definition TV!

Now Bill has a new HD Flat Screen TV.  Does anyone remember Fat Screen TVs?

To get the HD part, we had to update all Direct TV receivers including the one for my old LD (Low Def) version.  For those of you who are city dwellers, Direct TV is man’s way of surviving in rural areas where there is no Wifi or other such Gigabite connections.  Can you tell I have no idea what I’m talking about?

Low Definition is my own terminology and I intend to stay LD!  Nevertheless, “The updated receiver is required,” so it will be waiting in case I change my mind.

Arghhh!  The Viewer’s Guide is now too small with reverse white type on a light blue background.

DVD Netflix watching is fouled up too!

I have these written instructions which require a translator:

Turn TV on at remote top right button. Slide top thingy slider thing to far Right & switch to Channel 3.  Insert disc.Use second remote for something unidentified.  Turn power off at box or at red dot on remote top right. Switch to Channel 4 and slide top slider thingy to far Left.  TV should now be on and you should be able to change channels! Ha!

And NO, I don’t want Netflix Steaming or Streaming – just something else to learn!

SNAP AND CHAT

Last month my same technologically savvy grandgirl thought I would enjoy participating in SnapChat.  Huh?

I finally guessed that SnapChat is a place to post a picture

that will only last 3 seconds and then disappear.  

This would allow some folks to be seen naked but not permanently so. 

I am still not sure this is the purpose.  It is only a naïve guess.

Mackenzie was so sweet though, and put Snap and Chat on my new/old cell phone.  I doubt that she wants to see her Grammy disrobed, so maybe this service is for other more benign or deeply mysterious purposes?

Or maybe she knew I would never figure it out anyway.

She was right because when she left I could not figure it out so I deleted it.  At least I hope I deleted it.

Even a little thing like “delete” requires a step by stumble procedure.

Instagram Wireless Communication

I see Instagram all over Twitter too.   I understand Twitter I think, but not Instagram which would necessitate detailed instructions.

Instagram may be messaging in Morse Code because we do tend to be going backward in communication skills.

I have no intention of learning Morse Code since Bill already knows it.  He was a radio operator in the U.S. Air Force some time after the Civil War ended.

FYI:

In case I am ahead of you in utilizing initials to save time, “FYI” means For Your Information.,

Did you know Twitter is represented across the internet by a little bird on the wing?  That at least makes a bit of sense and does not require a graduate degree in social media.  twitter-logo

 

People Loving People

Other people seem to reside in specialized technological worlds for as long as they can stand to survive there and until they get updated and have to get new instructions.

Somehow love online always seems to thrive.

I think it is because the young have faster thumbs and the rest of them are bendable.  I suppose they have no trouble reaching out to potential new heartthrobs in the blog-us-fear.

BUT I QUIT!  I don’t want to learn any more.  I already met my heartthrob in person in a touchy feely world before Snap Chat and cell phones.

And I want technology to STOP!  NOW!

Enough is enough.

So now what?

I was just told that all the YMCA resistance equipment (I have been using for 15 years) is being replaced by new, up-to-date stuff.

“Is it the same, but just newer?” I asked.  “Well, no.”

And the trainer went into detail on the new knobs to expect, the new ways of achieving leg lifts, and the fact that they will be hiring people to explain all the new technologies.

Noooooooo!

 

 

 

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Daily Prompt:  Teachable Moment

You have to learn a new skill. Do you prefer to read about it, watch someone else do it, hear someone describe it, or try it yourself?

My wonderful blogger friend  told me about a wonderful new exercise machine!

Vibration Machine

Her description was so wonderful that I went ahead and ordered it.   And now I have  a Total Body Vibration Machine that looks like a bathroom scale.   All you do is plug it in and you are good to go.  Simple, right?

Wrong.

I need new skills to master this gadget which is supposed to increase circulation, decrease weight, cure arthritis, take the place of a full one hour work out in ten minutes, and all you do is stand on it, lie on it, or sit on it.  Magic!

The machine came with no real instructions – well maybe a few – and there is no manual – just a page with minimal text and some pictures of a lady standing on the gadget, lying on it or sitting on it.  She looks fairly serene.

Instructions

So my first plan of action was to read the captions.   Hurrah!  Now I can turn the thing on and off.  I also know how to stand, sit and lie on it.

Next?

There is something there about programming timing but I don’t understand the lingo and all the little lines to the buttons don’t make sense either.

Next?

I decided to TRY IT MYSELF!

I stood on it.

I turned it on.

It was on lowest speed (01).

And my eyes started vibrating!

The rest of me was jouncing too.

But have you ever tried to focus your eyes when they are vibrating?

I lasted one minute.

Suggested timing is ten minutes.

Today I will try for two minutes.  Forget lying on it or sitting on it.

Hurrah – I am learning a new skill – how to exercise your eyes!

BTW – THANK YOU CINDY! All kidding aside,  I think I am going to love this little gadget.

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