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Posts Tagged ‘Jeans’

Friend Lunch

Dining in a Virginia Orchard

The bear came back today.  I was preparing lunch when there was Bruno having his own lunch in the “orchard.”  The orchard consists of two fruit trees that didn’t make it and one pear tree that may still be offering something edible.

Bruno is a teenager or young fella who is out on his own I think because we never see the Mama Bear.  Anyway, as I sat down for lunch I was imagining joining the kid and sharing a pear or two.

Fortunately, reason and abject fear stopped me from being mauled to death.

Shopping Delusions

I thought I finally purchased the perfect pair of jeans yesterday!

Some stores have mirrors that make things look great.  The illusion is usually fleeting. This store was like that.  Wow! I looked young and glamorous in that mirror.

And the jeans even felt good – the stretchy kind you know and high wasted like in the old days so they wouldn’t slip down below my belly button.  A bit long but I began hemming them as soon as I got home.

Well yes, they are comfy all right and I wore them all day today.  But some people (like me) don’t have the right body image for jeans.  Mine always seem rumpled and a bit too baggy (my body as well as the jeans).  Obviously, jeans should emphasize curves shouldn’t they?

Having a flat butt doesn’t help I guess.  I mean you have to have curves to emphasize them.

Yesterday’s Outing

Yesterday was a big shopping day and lunch out with my friend, Norma.  We do something exciting like that once a month.   A lot of talking goes on (stored up for four weeks).

As for shopping, I am almost overwhelmed in those big malls with so many choices. Living in small town rural Virginia you get used to limited buying opportunities.  This time my friend and I added “The Cheese Shop” in Stuart’s Draft, Virginia, for spices and nuts, dried fruits and homemade jams and jellies, and cheese of course.

We had lunch at a Thai restaurant but I missed Bruno. 

And on the way home we stopped for a frozen yogurt dessert.  It was a cool ending to a lovely day.

 

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I get “the bug” this time of year.  Not the flu bug (please), but the urge to get rid of stuff.

Sunshine brings it on and Virginia has had many sun-shiney days this winter

It’s high time to make decisions about what clothes to discard and which to donate!

Over twenty years ago I was a working girl of semi svelt proportions who invested in quality stuff befitting a career girl’s status.

And would you believe those pencil thin skirts and silk blouses are still in a back closet?

They are the favorite clothes that will not button or zip no matter how much I hold in deteriorating abs.

Never mind  the suits and silks of the past are no longer in style and never mind that most of those vintage beauties are ridiculous to wear in the country.

Sensible sneakers and jeans are things to wear here in rural Virginia (with the exception of one or two special occasions where people still turn out in jeans!)

But back to the bug, my warped thinking every Spring is,  “Hang onto this.  You might get down to that size again!”

That skirt was high quality you know.

But there are many other “things” to hang onto.  Shorts, bathing suits, and even underwear have accumulated in plastic bags marked Medium, L, XL, XXL (notice there never was a Small).

It is exhausting work to try all those sizes back on.

Sigh.

I have managed to donate two coats to Good Will, but promptly bought two more – needed someting in beige after all.  Something to wear with jeans.

Best to leave all this decision making until it is really Spring, or maybe a year from next Spring?

I might get down to that size again!

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In case you were wondering!

Animated Jeans

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Daily Prompt -Flangiprop

Invent a definition for the word “flangiprop,” then use the word in a post. 

Prop: to support, or prevent from falling, with or as if with a prop (often followed by up ): to prop an old fence.

Flange: A protruding rim, edge, rib, or collar, as on a wheel or a pipe shaft, used to strengthen an object, hold it in place, or attach it to another object.

FLANGIPROP:  A device attached to a skinny jeans waistband to hold and fold in oozing flesh.

Skinny jeans on chunky people do not work.  Still, almost everybody is wearing them because it’s the style.    And not only are some jeans too “skinny” but to make things worse, the waistbands are below the belly button.  Eeeek!  What is that thing rolling over the top that makes a girl’s shape resemble an oozing marshmallow?  Am I missing something here?  Is it high style now to contort the female shape into obviously un-female like proportions?

Enter the magical  flangiprop!  Never heard of such a thing?  Well, think of a little platform that can snap out from your waistband!  Any overhanging flesh could just rest atop the flangiprop. A hinged flangiprop is even better so a person can close it upward (along with the flesh) – like drawing in the draw bridge to the old castles.  This may sound a bit painful, but a loose fitting sweater or blouse would disguise the little platform and could restore (or almost restore) the feminine profiled body shape.  After all, the draw bridge to the old castle (when drawn) is flat. You will need to concentrate on smiling though and not revealing your inner agony.

So write this down please.  If you are chunky and you wish to wear skinny jeans, be sure to invest in a Flangiprop (maybe even a few flangiprops in case you need them to handle love handles too!).  You can beat the belly bulge!  Who needs liposuction anyway?

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