Posts Tagged ‘Getting lost’


Nowadays there is no excuse for a driver to get lost – not with the wonderful Global Positioning Systems around.  The little gadget with a lady inside actually talks you through the twists and turns of life, and almost everyone I know has one or has tried one.   Our youngest granddaughter named ours “Lola.”


Well, at t first I loved Lola.  She was so cute when she said, “Recalculating” or even when she consistently interrupted interesting conversations with “Turn Left in 1.6 miles” and “Continue on Highway 81 for 2.4 miles and then turn right on Gleason Street.”  Isn’t modern technology wonderful?

Lola always does her annoying best to get us there.  Even so, my husband and I still manage to get lost in strange cities.  Once, in New Jersey, we could actually see our destination but began to think it was a mirage. “Look!  There’s our hotel across the street!”  After infuriating ineffectual circling and extreme frustration (since Lola kept droning, “RECALCULATING!”), we finally gave up and called the hotel concierge.  “Help! We can see your place from here, but it looks like it is to the left of us and there’s no left turn and if we go right, we wind up in traffic going the wrong way.  No, I don’t know what street we are on because there’s no street sign.  A GPS?   Ha!”

I don’t know why we have so much trouble getting somewhere when the somewhere is in plain sight.  And although I would like to, I can’t really blame Lola for the New Jersey debacle.  Like I said, “In her somewhat annoying way, she tries.”  But, at least that particular time we wound up laughing.  It should be noted that we are not always so amicable in stressed traffic situations or other times when we get lost in parking garages.


There was the time we were in the Hershey Park, Pennsylvania parking lot, ready to leave.  “Where did we come in?” Bill asked.  “Uh back behind those buildings over there I think.”  And off we went, heading for the back of the lot, which turned out to be the wrong way after all.  “I thought you said BEHIND THOSE BUILDINGS!”  “Uhhhh… where are we anyway?” I wonder as we aimlessly circle the parking lot.  Finally, we hit a spot where Miss Smarty Pants Lola kicked in and said, “RECALCULATING!”  Grrrrr.

I can hear her infuriating voice now, “Turn Right at XYZ Street in 1.6 miles.”  But OMG – Bill turned LEFT onto a freeway going nowhere with no turns to get back for the next 60 miles! “RECALCULATING.”   Oh, Lola – SHUT UP!  And “Why didn’t you tell me to turn LEFT?” hollers Bill.  “BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE LISTENING TO LOLA!”   “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO ANYWAY – LOLA?”   x*ja$#xxx”/X@#!!!  Now I am ready, really ready, to jump out the door onto the freeway.

We still take maps too, and plot our travel routes in strange cities the old way.   And I still try to balance everything on my lap and go from reading glasses to sunglasses and back trying to give supplemental directions to help Lola with her insurmountable tasks.

By the second day of our vacation I think I dislike Lola.  By the third day, I dislike her intensely and I wonder if she would stop talking if I stepped on her.

The fact is, we are getting ready for another vacation and I can guarantee we will be lost more often than not.  So guess who is coming along TO HELP?  LOLA!



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Next week we are making our yearly run to Saunders Brothers (Piney River, Virginia) for fresh-from-the-tree peaches!  My friends love heading out of town.  I love the peaches.  I just don’t love getting there.

Saunders Brothers and Dickie Brothers Orchards are our favorite seasonal haunts.  We load up on succulent peaches at Saunders this time of year, and then great apples at Dickie Brothers (Roseland, Virginia) in the fall.


Lost Again

Even though we have been doing this for years, we have a penchant for getting lost en route. Both orchards are over the mountains in the same general direction, via winding roads and byways we forget about from year to year.

Please note the picture of three of us, taken on our first Orchard Outing when I was the driver.  You can tell by the despairing look (I’m in the middle) that we are LOST!  I was distressed. The others thought that was pretty funny.   You can see Peggy comforting me and Monika is literally LOL!  How is it they don’t seem to worry about losing their bearings on car trips?


My Deep, Dark Secret Secret:

In my long-ago childhood, I was always the Designated Navigator in charge of maps on vacation trips, whose duty it was to guide my father along the proper routes.  It was a great honor to be the Designated Navigator (and I was puffed up proud) until I gave him the wrong directions.  This did happen of course, and the results were a lot of yelling and booming frustration from Dad (who was only trying to get us there).  I’m sure he didn’t realize the long-term psychological impact.

How could he possibly know I would turn out to be emotionally destroyed by my own aimless adult driving down unknown roads?  My baby brother escaped this horrible fate (the little brat).


Lost Barn

Lost Pond

But, back to my friends – they are actually very kind and supportive when they aren’t laughing at me.  They offer comforting words like,  “If we hadn’t taken that road Dor, would we have stumbled upon this fabulous crumbling barn?”  And they say other things like,

“What a picture!  Mary Beth’s husband could paint this!”

  “See, there is always an upside to getting lost!”

“And look at this beautiful pond.”

“O.K., so we took Rt. 666 (the Devil’s number) by mistake at the crossroads at Crabtree Falls Road.   We’ll just turn around!”

  “Smile for the camera now!  Try to Smile.” 

Note: We actually did take Rt. 666 one time. It’s a real road.

Next week we will go on our annual trip to Saunders Brothers for peaches.  Once again, I am the driver.  I plan to appoint Monika as the Designated Navigator though, and woe onto her if she gets me lost or laughs out loud!  My camera will record any snickering from her, Peggy or Sandy!

To be continued with Accompanying Photographs as proof of which friends are LOL!

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