The Doomsday Connection

Virginia Black Bear Cub – Photo Source Unknown

“If I expect the worst will happen and then it is the best, I am happily surprised. On the other hand, if I expect the best and the worst happens, I am sorry I didn’t think the worst to begin with.”    Quote by ~Dor

I have a blogger friend, Kate, who freely admits she magnifies simple human maladies into end-of-the-world death-approaching, devastating ailments. She makes me laugh because I see “me” in there too.

Once the question was asked at a book club meeting, “What kinds of books do you prefer?”

And there were answers like, “Mysteries, Romance, Biographies, Historical Fiction, etc.”

My answer was, “Doomsday  books.”

And everybody laughed!

Yes, it is true I love doomsday stories (fiction or non) about living through the plague, the great influenza, the civil war, the world wars, floods, hunger, and pestilence.

The first book I loved, cried over, sped through and read again and again was the American Classic,  Ethan Frome, by Edith Wharton.  And I still wish I could change the ending.  Surely the doomed lovers could have positively altered the course of their lives and survived unscathed. Couldn’t they?

Progressing from that frustration I began reading powerful historic treatises on The Great Influenza, Isaac’s Storm, and yes, those stories about the plague, war, starvation, pestilence, the plight of women, etc.  I still love them all and always looking for more.

And as a result, over time, I saved life-saving tips into a collection I now call Dor’s Doomsday Survival Manual.

But  when my real-life friends look at the manual they laugh and seem to consider it a comedy.

And now you have it – the deep dark underside I have struggled so long to keep hidden, and the reason I aim to publish funny blog posts.

But I wonder if you would laugh as you browse through Dor’s manual chapters.

• What to do if there is a bear on your deck!  Hide – plus other good ideas.
• How to save a cat from drowning in a flood.  Float out in a sealed bucket (I just saw that on t.v.
• How to purify water.  Clorox?  Yes, really.
• Hidden water sources in your home.  Toilets?  Yes, really.
• Non-perishables that will last 25 years of even hundreds of years.  Fruit cake and honey – really!
• What to pack in a survival suitcase.  Chocolate?  Wishful thinking but there is a longer list.
• How to prepare for the Avian Flu (or did it already come and go?)  I think the Bird Flu passed on by…. or has it?
• What to do when food sources are low. You can live many days without food. Who knew?
• Beware of summer storms.
• Evacuation tips
• Assembling a first aid kit.
•  Tools and supplies to have at the ready.
• A Family Disaster plan.
• And more.

Do you think I should publish my Survival Manual as a comedy or what?

Your input is entirely welcome, but I am thinking the worst.

 

 

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Shredding Life’s Problems

My favorite stories are about survival.

Like tales about the plague or hurricanes are just wonderful.

Surely there must be germs of experience in such doomsday revelations to help one through life’s most pressing challenges.

But the latest survival information I discovered is even more direct.  A rather obscure article I read recently gave explicit instructions on imaging to deal with life problems.  Evidently you can think your way into surviving anything by simply writing a thought, shredding it, and then discarding what you wrote!

Doesn’t that make some logical sense?

Presumably, the image of trashing a problem like the plague (after you reduce it to little paper bits) will make the whole thing go away.  I’m sure they never thought of imaging in the days of death-by-plague, but we have definitely come a long way since then haven’t we?

Anyway, as instructed, I now spend 15 to 30 minutes a day writing down every thought and then shredding and discarding each thought, one by one.

The waste basket is full of bits of  note paper .

And in the last few days noticeable patterns emerged.

PATTERNS:

1. Reminders.

   “Buy milk.”

   “Get graduation cards for J and K.”

   “Call Kit.”

   (Do you see any correlation to eradicating a serious problem in such thoughts? Well I wrote them down anyway and did the dastardly shredding.)

2. Questions.

   “When will my friend be moving back to this area?”

   “Should I order pot holders online?”

   (So far there have been no subliminal answers. Maybe I am thinking of this exercise like it’s a Ouiga Board.)

3. Wishes.

   “I wish I had a dog.”

   “Wish I didn’t have to cook dinner tonight.”

   “I wish I was thin.”

   (Now wouldn’t that be something if I could tear up the last wish and begin to lose weight?  I did notice I skipped the after-lunch cookie today!)

CONCLUSIONS:

• This exercise is fun.
• I don’t think it has any intrinsic value but will let you know if I ever feel problem free.
• Maybe the exercise can be tailored to address specific problems.  Like one day you shred only those thoughts that are about wishes.
• Or maybe it is like writing a letter to Santa, who will read the list and come forth with all the goodies
• I don’t see any signs that my expected longevity is extended.
• So much for shredding problems.
• And so much for survival.

And my last thought was/is in the Reminder category, “Don’t forget to buy a whole bunch of scratch pads because you are running out of shredding-paper.”

Now maybe THAT is a solveable problem except I shredded the reminder and will probably forget what I was trying to remember.

 

 

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