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Mushroom Underside

Mushroom Underside

I was and am alarmed, embarrassed, and totally MORTIFIED!

On Saturday I discovered a mushroom growing in my spotlessly clean house!

A beautiful white opaque mushroom was happily embedded in the carpet at the baseboard in Bill’s office/den/t.v.room/napping place/man cave.

Admittedly a manly retreat like Bill’s might offer a peaceful atmosphere for a mushroom to grow up in, but why?

On first sight.

On first sight.

And why am I creating this post?   Maybe the mystery of the spores has addled my brain.

Because where I come from (muggy Florida), we had to be vigilant about preventing mold and mildew.  That means being spotlessly clean.  Keep a closet door closed too long in the era before air conditioning and you  inspired the growth of dreaded MOLD (stuff that is dangerous to one’s health)!

So I grew up learning to be spotlessly clean.  Please believe me. I am “spotlessly clean.”  There is also air conditioning now.  And really…… I am spotlessly clean.  I keep a spotlessly clean house.  That is the truth.  Really.  A mushroom growing in my house??????   Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

And so begins a journey of discovery about how a spotlessly clean house could nourish a lovely mushroom.

We called Bryan the Plumber first.

We love and admire Bryan anyway, but even more now because he came over right away early this Monday morning.

Bryan cut up the wall and identified a leaky pipe that was bringing fresh water to our master bath commode (via the den wall) and he replaced the pipe.  “That should stop the source of the moisture,” he said in his most reassuring voice.

New Pipe Replacement

New Pipe Replacement

I love reassurance but  rather prefer guarantees.

Bryan also identified a huge stand/pod/bevy? of mushrooms growing from our subfloor underneath the house!  Who knew there would be a whole FAMILY of mushrooms?  And under our house?

Note:  There is only so far I will go with spotless housekeeping.

And so, we called Dennis the Carpenter.

We already love Dennis too because he is coming right out tomorrow at 8AM!  Dennis will remove more drywall to inspect for further damage.  He will also remove a patch, a chunk or a whole area of carpeting to inspect the sub flooring and decide what next to do.

I expect Dennis will also be reassuring (without any guarantees).

We hope Dennis will inspect the sub flooring in the crawl space under the house too.

I have a new high regard for plumbers and carpenters for their brave and arduous work challenges.  But now I wish for a magic solution that will exterminate all those lovely mushrooms beneath the house.

All of this will be costly we think.

So we called our Insurance Company.

The insurance company gave us a Claim Number.  Evidently Claim Numbers matter but to me that means we have to wait in line.  And  soon they will assign an Adjuster.  Under the circumstances one of their claims agents told me they “understand the urgency” in getting things repaired even if it is done before the Adjuster can take a look.  They suggested I take lots of pictures.

Ah!  Pictures.  And I may as well do a blog post as a kind of documentary evidential piece to present to the Adjusters in our lives.

The saga of the Mushroom in the Man Cave will be continued.   Bill is temporarily carrying on manly activities in another room usually reserved for grandkids’ visits.  He doesn’t seem to mind the big stuffed puppy in the corner.

Meanwhile, if any of my blogging friends have words of wisdom to impart, or stories of such gruesome experiences, please share.

 

 

 

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