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Posts Tagged ‘Big Foot’

DeVinci quote on feet

I can hardly believe it but Big Foot is now Little Foot again!

That is cause for celebration.

Or is it?

Yes, the swelling is down.

And Yes, I no longer need the Big Boot.

But for over a week now there is a new piercing heel pain

which according to the expert Foot Man (podiatrist),

is the result of wearing the Big Boot for 3 months!

This common condition is called PLANTAR FASCIITIS.

I have graduated from Bone Marrow Edema to Plantar Fasciitis!

This can also take months to heal too and requires icing, bending, pushing, pulling,  resting, exercising, adding shoe inserts and the possibility of

sleeping with a stretching brace.

Really?

I am patient, slow to tearful demonstrations, and even slower to overt signs of anger.

I don’t mind putting my feet first (and up)  for a while.  But three months?  And then months more?!!!!!!!

Any objection to WHINING?

Dr Seuss on Lucky

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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sale

My closets are full  but devoid of the latest transformation-al apparel.  A person with a big foot needs life altering duds.

My face/body needs creams to wake up a winter complexion preserved in anti freeze.

And my hair needs more “products” – maybe even a wig!

There is a definite need for exercise gadgets to assist in achieving svelte beauty.

And the house!  Well, the house needs all sorts of replacements for worn out items….. maybe me included.

Big Foot has discovered any and all needed or not-s0-needed-items

can be found ON LINE (no electric go-cart necessary)!

Hurrah!  And just think of the big sales on now!  All that “stuff” is practically free.

Of course this is  self-deception to fool myself into never leaving a chair (and of course, being suckered out of all my money too).

I blame it all on Big Foot because the big boot I drag around means I greatly resemble Scrooge’s ghostly partner, Jacob Marley of Charles Dickens’  A Christmas Carol.  Marley was cursed with dragging around heavy chains for eternity.

Jacob Marley en.wikipedia.org

Jacob Marley
en.wikipedia.org

But poor Marley did not have the benefit of  modern technology and “retail therapy” on line!

  • He missed the thrill of the hunt,
  • then pride and joy in finding obscure gadgets,
  • and Woohoo! – a breathtaking plunge into the lurking danger of dealing with an unproven website!

But there is more:

  • The waiting and anticipation of delivery,
  • breathless expectation of the arrival of something new,
  • actually dragging the box inside,  and then
  • the exquisite joy of opening to discover the wonders within!

The problem with all this deviant behavior (even if it is a welcome diversion from lugging around cursed weights), is it becomes slightly radically compulsive.

I fear I am slipping into that obsessive compulsive realm of online shopping.

Will you, my friends, help with clever ideas for coping with boredom?  I am doomed to wear this big boot for 3 to 6 more weeks – maybe even longer!  Here are some suggestions from friends to date.  Your additions would be oh-so welcome.

Read (I am reading, reading and reading ad infinitum.)

Blog (Yes, I am blogging with little to write about except for online shopping adventures.)

Study Windows 10 (One page is enough because I need another manual to decipher the one page.)

Watch Television (That’s good for a few hours if I don’t count falling asleep.)

Sort Old Photographs (I am planning that but procrastinating)

Write Letters (Are you kidding? Recipients would faint.)

Write a Book (On the verge)

Big Foot Dor is in danger of appearing on one of those television hoarding shows. And Bill hasn’t seen the bill yet either!

 

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Sighted in Parking Lot

Big Foot Sighted in Lowe’s Parking Lot

Yes, there have been sightings.

Like the time someone saw Big Foot in the parking lot of Lowe’s!

Mirror Magic

Mirror Magic

 

And the small touches made to hearth and home.

Small Touches

And thanks to Big Foot, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!”

Big Foot has not been seen baking yet but is sort of enjoying sympathetic tsk-tsk-tsks and oohs and awws .

So, after all these years of hiding in the woods, the monster emerging has its up side.

One does have to keep going in spite of a swollen foot that keeps on achin’.

Big Foot in Person

Big Foot in Person

 

But, No, it is not gout.

And No, it is not a clot.

It is not even a recognizable break.

And my doc says one swollen foot is not associated with diabetes either.

An MRI is next.

Then hopefully Big Foot will rejoin his reindeer friends in the deep forest and

we mortal souls can get on with preparing for Christmas.

 

 

 

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