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WonderWoman

I am Woman!

I feel superbly smug this day.

Things were freezing on my computer you know, resulting in panic. I turned the computer off, walked away and came back, opened the lid.  But Argggh!  A dark screen!

A convincing inner voice said, “You really did it now.  You wrecked the computer.   Don’t touch anything else or you are doomed.”  But wait!  I forgot to push the little  button that opens the screen.  And Voila!  It all works again and everything that was frozen is thawed!

I feel superbly smug this day.  Mystery solved.

Be Brave!

My son was counselling me on how to operate Windows 10.  “Be brave, “he said, “Be willing to try different things.  Don’t be afraid to push buttons.  You can always undo what you have done.” Without his calm and expert advice, this blog would not exist.

The last time I was brave I deleted the cache on my cell phone and managed to put it in a deep freeze of protest.    There were no calls in or out and no emails either – just a dead phone.  Thankfully, things are now restored to normal.

calmclearcache

But I have reverted to a timid, cowering techie convinced that all connections will be severed if I push the wrong buttons.

Mismatched Eyebrows

O.K.  I admit I still want to look beautiful, even at a venerable old age.  I thought that was accomplished this morning, so while Bill was out bush hogging (that means mowing big overgrown fields with a big overgrown mower) (and I knew it was safe to indulge in self fantasy), I took a few selfies.

Selfie Eyebrows

The glasses helped to eliminate soften wrinkles but if you look closely enough, one eyebrow is light and one is dark!  Arrrrgh!

Looking beautiful at a venerable old age is a challenge if you can’t see straight enough to make your eyebrows match up.

Naked Desperation

I just read a book about organizing one’s things.  Starting with clothing, the idea is to hold and touch each piece you own to determine if you love it or not.  If you FEEL something is wrong and you FEEL you don’t love a piece of clothing, either discard it or put it in the donation pile.

I did it!  You can’t imagine the liberated feeling there is to this exercise!

But now the problem is, I don’t have anything to wear!

I have always said, “My husband wouldn’t notice if I went out naked.”  Now is his chance to prove me wrong.

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Image from www. vintage-ads.livejournal.com

I have suffered numerous bad habits over the years, beginning with Thumb Sucking.

My parents tried everything including rubbing something on that tasted bad.  Nothing worked.  Finally, on the first day of kindergarten the teacher announced, “Look around children.  We have a baby in the room.”  And there they were all looking at ME!  I do love commanding attention (still) but that was the last day of thumb sucking.

Then in the teen years there was the Nail Biting habit.

Would you say these habits were symptoms of an insecure personality?

In those days, long fingernails were a sign of beauty (but mostly a sign of control over one’s habitual impulses).  I proudly decided to stop nail biting and stopped.  Congrats to that determined young woman.

Smoking was another horrible habit which took hold for years until I stopped “cold turkey”.

I still feel rather smug and self-righteous about that and sincerely try not to lecture friends about the evils of smoking.

Oddly enough, Rubbing-it-In can become a habit too.

But now my latest habit involves Reading Books!

READING BOOKS?

Habitual reading maybe?

Habitual reading of special interest books?

Too much reading?

Too much of the same kind of reading?

No, No, No and No.

What happened the other night revealed  an entirely new habit to break.

The story goes like this:  I was reading a “real book.”

The definition of a real book is one you can hold in your hands and turn pages.  If you are destructive you can even write in it or turn down page corners (but this is a travesty and can be considered inhuman behavior).

Anyway, I was reading a real book for a change and suddenly found myself tapping the side of the page.

Nothing happened so I tapped again.

Then I tapped more aggressively.

Nothing happened.

Until it finally clicked in that I was not reading on my Kindle, and could not tap the margins of a real book to make it turn a page.

 I had to turn the page myself!

Talk about a strange habit in late life!

THE PAGE TAPPING HABIT!

THE KINDLE READING HABIT.

THE HABIT OF READING BACKLIT PAGES WITH NO PAPER CORNERS.

THE HABIT OF TAP TOUCHING THE MARGIN TO GET TO THE NEXT PAGE.

This habit of page tapping has become so ingrained I may need lessons on how to read a real book – the kind you can find in the library – or at least some libraries.

I hear some university libraries are doing away with real books and going fully digital.

Yikes!

Any suggestions for a cure though?

I am a Habitual Page Tapper and need help to break the habit.

 

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I have a phobia of sorts.

It is shortness of breath when faced with too many choices like shopping in cluttered overstocked stores or having to decide between zillions of television channels

When we were young and living in “remote areas of California” I was happy to do all the shopping at one local general store.

And we didn’t even own a t.v. or a computer or a cell phone.

But there is no accounting for progress.

We moved to the Virginia countryside where life promised to remain simple and uncluttered.  There were only three restaurants, no department stores, and no big box stores.

We put an antenna in the attic to get two clear television channels and one fuzzy station and decided we were living in Paradise.

And time marched on.

And suddenly there was a bigger, wider, more enticing world of satellite television with a zillion optional programs.

We were among the first 20,000 people in the United States to have Direct TV.  There were no installers then (at least in rural Virginia) so Bill installed everything himself.  Imagine the joy in surfing around with a remote thing!  And imagine being given a whole menu of options!  I could feel my breathing phobia kicking in.

And time marched on.

There is no accounting for progress.

I recently learned how to record t.v. programs for later viewing.  For those of you who are still novices like I was, you just push a button that says REC on your remote.  I have gone a little balistic with this new power (but symptoms of my short-of-breath-phobia are emerging too).

I have R E C’d enough programs to keep me recliner-chair-bound for the winter.

  • The Young Pope is mesmerizing.
  • But then Mercy Street is enticing.
  • And Victoria is a must.
  • I like the History channels.
  • And nature things.
  • And all those recommendations we get from friends.
  • And we currently also have three Netflix discs on standby.
  • And I want to get back into blogging.
  • And there is so much to do in cyberspace anyway.

Progress?  I call it “overkill” and there is simply not enough time in a day anymore.

Do I want to go back to three channels on the t.v.?  No.

Well maybe 10 or 20 options max?

As for shopping I sometimes yearn for the good old days.

A visit to Ernie’s General Store in Hayfork, California sounds good, simple, easy.  I could get paint, gifts, clothing, hardware, and maybe even a television set – all in one place.  Those were the days when we rented a trailer from Ernie and it was in his back yard!   That was when we were young and living in the wilder more remote places of California.  It is now many decades later and there is no accounting for progress.  I recently heard Ernie’s store was for sale.  I wonder if it is still there.  

ernies-gen-store

Ernie’s Department Store Hayfork, California

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Son and the grandgirls were here over the Christmas holiday.  Here they are studying something important.   Can you imagine what it is?

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Drone

 

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Pedometer 1

The final indignity that has opted me out of modern gadgetry was an old reliable pedometer that finally ran out of batteries .

And of course, no one could figure out how to open the battery box.

Maybe it was frozen in shock at how few steps I walked in the last five years.

I mourned that little pedometer and somehow knew a substitute would require a Masters’ Degree in Programming and hours of frustration to get up and running walking.

Forced to buy a new pedometer- three or four new ones  to be exact- they all challenged my intelligence.

It’s not that I’m not intelligent.  I used to be considered a bright child.

But that was in the good old days when life was simple.  There were no huge technological innovations calculated to make things easier.

Life was easy enough with Off and On switches you might have to get up for.

But I am ranting.

Even after hours of reading and re-reading I could not decipher the directions to all the new pedometers stacking up in a secret hiding place reserved for storing complicated gadgets.

Asking for help, as you may know, is humiliating.

But trying one last time, I ordered a supposedly SIMPLE  PEDOMETER that “is operational right out of the box!”

Really?

I could hardly contain my excitement when it came – a simple little drop-in-your-pocket pedometer with great big Easy Read Numbers and a little pull-tag.

I pulled the tag (according to the directions) and it was ready to go!  No intelligence required!

But where were the instructions to program calories burned, body mass indexes, breaths per minute, miles consumed, muscle contractions, levels of perspiration, or all that other irrelevant stuff?  Not there.  What a relief!

All I ever wanted to know was STEPS!

And, although I hardly believe it, this little gadget ONLY REGISTERS STEPS!

No need to purchase another 550 page book on Pedometers for Dummies (I wonder if there really is such a book)!  I already have Computers for Dummies, Windows 10 for Dummies, and Office for Dummies, plus a few more.

“By golly,” as they used to say in the good old days, when I was intelligent,  “Someone has figured out how to regress to simpler times.”  Kudos to the inventor of this precious little Steps Only Pedometer!

And  now maybe I can fool the world into thinking I have a Master’s Degree in Programming.

Why can’t everything else be this easy?

Why do I always have to pull out the directions for my self cleaning oven?

Shouldn’t I just be able to hit “Clean??

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In the Face of the Storm

 

Cloudy Skies and Virtual Clouds

Early in the week the son was still here and managed to finally convert me to the virtual Virtues of the Cloud. What used to be that fluffy thing in the sky is now an imaginary cloud that holds all the information about you and your life.  And all you have to do is a technological rain dance to retrieve things!

Now I can find a fuzzy picture taken four years ago of a street sign reading “Road May Flood”.  

I thought of that photo because it was raining when Corky arrived and raining when he left.

It rains for two days at a time here now in Virginia.  And if you need to mow you had better do it on the third day.

Dashing in the Dashlane

dashlane logo

dashlane logo

My myriad of passwords (a million or so) are now retained in that ethereal CLOUD too.  Dashlane miraculously  signs into Amazon (and those million other places) for me.  Woosh and I’m in!

The result? If I forget the Magical Master Password to get into Dashlane I won’t remember any of my million other passwords.  That almost happened last night.  Talk about PANIC!

Ten Minutes at the YMCA

The week’s major feature was a return trip to the YMCA after a seven month absence dealing with BigFoot. The Big/NowLittle Foot is still  sporadically sending pain notices via Plantar Fasciitis to the heel, clear reminders to pay attention or else!   This  stop at the “Y” was therefore a gentle new try for ten short minutes on the NuStep thing (no dashing or crunching, moaning or groaning – a short practically nothing workout for legs and arms).

And what joy and divine energy were generated in those ten minutes at the gym!  And the foot stayed happy along with the rest of me!

Personal Pride and a Personal Trainer

Give me ten minutes of ego driven personal pride and I was back to the YMCA today for a  one hour session with a personal trainer.

Justin’s task was to re-introduce me to the YMCA’s torture chamber equipment.  And now that I am steeped in knowledge about Range of Motion numbers, weights, and repetition goals, I am fully prepared for a full return to the world of fitness.  Hurrahhhhh!

All I need is a “Range of Motivation” motivator or a viable plan for commitment.  Hahahahahhhha!

Too Tall for Comfort

A new patio/deck umbrella arrived (purchased online from a place logged onto by Dashlane!).

The umbrella is the right color and advertised as “wind resistant” (no mention of rain protection) but it is practically perfect.  The only problem is it’s a push up/non-crank style and is too tall for me to raise and lower.  Ever ready to accommodate all obstacles, I volunteered to keep a footstool handy.  But falling off the footstool in an effort to raise an umbrella did not make much sense.  Packing the thing up to return to sender also seems formidable.

Bill, to the rescue, says he can cut the pole back by six inches!  Would that it be true since we will not be able to return the umbrella with a hacked pole (not hacked in the sense of breaking into a computer mind you – hacked in the sense of sawing and pounding on a metal pole  – O.K.,”forgedda about it!)

Such are the perils of buying online.   You have to think of everything and be sure to enter detailed specifications.

Sold on Selfies

Finally, though I haven’t told Bill or Corky yet, I bought a $4.98 Selfie Stick!  I am so excited about this and hoping the distance between the camera and my face will make for passable pictures (hopefully slightly blurred).

How surprising it is to actually come up with a list of Randoms when I always think there is nothing to say.

And now I am wishing you (and me) pleasant randoms for the week to come.

 

 

 

 

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downtown lexington bistro

Downtown Lexington, Virginia has been abuzz with activities, young folks, traffic, and busy restaurants and shops.

It all has to do with end of school stuff (three universities in the area), plant sales, art shows, farmer’s markets, and the advent of Spring and Summer!

My friend Norma and I had lunch downtown at The Bistro.

The quiche was grand, the atmosphere was upbeat, and best of all, we had the chance to catch up on our lives.  It is always so surprising how much there is to talk about after about three or four weeks.

Corky is here!  That’s our son, who arrived Wednesday from California.  We met him at the door (like in the commercial) with all our technological questions (and gadgets) stored up for repair or clarification and pleas to help us with everlasting computer confusion.

 “Hi, good to see you.  Come on in!  None of this works.”

Cork has been offering Windows 10 lessons ever since he arrived.

I am now safely floating around in the Cloud too, but I keep thinking of the song, “The Little White Cloud that Cried.”  Isn’t there danger in trusting a cloud with all your family pictures?

 

Corky may be slightly overwhelmed by all the required tutorials.  Tomorrow will be devoted to Dashlane – a site that will store your passwords for you.  I think that is like a vault (in the cloud?).

“Everything on Microsoft is RIGHT CLICK Mom.

Now what do you do next?”

“Right click,” I reply.

“Great!  You are getting the hang of it.”

We had dinner at The Pink Cadillac again, which now boasts an expanded menu!  Interested in fried shrimp?  It’s there.  Or pulled pork barbecue?

pink cad interior

Like everyplace else around here, the old place was crowded with happy people.  Isn’t this a wonderful time of year?

Finally, who can discount the weather?  It rains almost every day. And folks are getting fed up with humidity and downpours.  I still love the sound of raindrops falling though, and tend to run around cracking windows open to increase the volume.

The good news is Big Foot is now reliably Small and the plantar fasciitis less sensitive.  It’s still there but seemingly subsiding.

It’s Bad Luck Day – Friday the 13th – but around here, there is a whole lot to be thankful for.

 

 

 

 

 

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