Stuck Again? A Diabolical Plan

“Hello, Super Market Management?  I am in your store and I am in the far end.  You know, near the chips?  I am a handicapped elderly woman (in a therapy boot) gratefully using one of your electric carts but the cart battery went dead.  Can you help me?

I cannot walk all the way back for another cart.  I need a new cart with active batteries and someone to help transfer all the groceries.  Yes, I am by the chips.  Thank you so much.  I love it that you offer this service.  It’s a very kind public gesture, but for some reason the cart batteries always go dead.

The electric carts at my grocery/big box store constantly run out of battery power.

And this usually occurs on the far side!

Getting stuck in the middle (or far end) of a gigantic store leaves a person (this person with the BigFoot) in a precariously helpless, embarrassing position, stranded in limbo with peripheral problems like being emotionally distraught.

I am STUCK! HELP!

• The basket on this electric cart is full.
• It will lurch forward while emitting a weak sickly beep.
• It will never make it back to square one for a new cart.
• That means I must WALK (Limp) back across the store (for what seems like a mile) to get another cart.
• You may witness my staggering arrival at the cart area where there may or may not be a new cart available.
• If I am lucky and find a cart it may have a dying battery, and there is no way to tell if it will make it back to Cart #1.
• Hurrah!  It arrives at Cart #1 for a transfer of goods to Cart #2.
• Finally… leave Cart #1 stranded and,
• With aching foot and increased blood pressure, move on to finish shopping.

Results?

• Embarrassment
• Pain
• Anger 
• Frustration
• Fear of getting stuck again.

The latter fear has taken such a hold that I can only shop on one side of the store at a time, i.e., bar soap is on the wrong side (the other side) of the store.

Soap therefore, must go on a different day’s shopping list entitled “Right Side” or “Left Side”.

I also finally devised a Diabolical Plan (feel free to try this yourself if you are either elderly, infirm, or both):

1. Program the name of the store and it’s local phone number into your cell phone.
2. Choose an electric cart without too much concern for dying batteries.
3. Begin shopping and don’t worry about filling your basket. Fill it to the brim or higher! Remember, the point of this plan is to send a message to store management.
4. Be alert and wait to get stuck ANYWHERE in the #$%2x##* blankety blank place (preferably far far from the stable of carts).
5. Are you stuck yet? Well, if you are, then sweetly call the store from your cell phone.  Please, reserve the urge to rant!  
6. Helplessly plead you are handicapped and need to be saved by a store employee who will have to fetch another cart.

Will pity prompt positive action?

I haven’t tried the Diabolical Plan yet.

Stay tuned.

 

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