The No Fly Zone

Would you believe that even men’s underclothing can be trendy and mysterious?

Parental Guidance recommended.  This is a true truly indelicate story.

Bill and I went shopping last week.

Bill purchased some great socks, a couple of T-shirts, and a package of three boxer shorts.   I complimented him on his refined taste in underdrawers.

“Good brand,” I said.

But when we got home and the new shorts were put to a test, he discovered a  serious flaw in the merchandise.

There was no fly!

“Can you imagine this?” he said.  

“Why would they ever sell boxer shorts with no fly?”

Since I try hard to solve all mysteries, I began thinking.

Thinking is supposed to be good for aging people.

• Maybe they were shorts for sports.
• Maybe when they called them boxers they meant the kind boxers really wear in the fighting ring.  They wouldn’t have a fly would they?  That would be somewhat risky depending upon where the knockout punch landed.
• Men’s bathing suits don’t have a fly either, or do they?  I never really noticed.
• Did George Washington have no-fly briefs?
  

  George Washington portrait

I tried hard to figure out the mystery but finally agreed the shorts Bill bought were flawed!

The fly/flies/flys must have been sewn shut by accident. 

I told Bill to give me the unused items and I would return them to the store and explain the manufacturer’s malfunction.

That night however, I began thinking again and mulling.  Isn’t mulling a lovely word?

And finally I thought of GOOGLE SEARCH!

And there they were – No-Fly Briefs – all over Amazon.com and everywhere else  you can think of.

They are the big “in” thing now because they are seamless if you are a man who wears tight pants.

Who knew?

But seamed or seamless, Bill will not wear them.  And by the way, he doesn’t wear tight pants either.

So goes my somewhat indelicate story of trends in modern day apparel.

And Bill is steering clear of the “no-fly zone.”

Re Comments:  

If your spouse or significant other is wearing no-fly boxer briefs, please, that is way more than I need to know.

 

 

 

 

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