Big Foot Shopping Online

My closets are full  but devoid of the latest transformation-al apparel.  A person with a big foot needs life altering duds.

My face/body needs creams to wake up a winter complexion preserved in anti freeze.

And my hair needs more “products” – maybe even a wig!

There is a definite need for exercise gadgets to assist in achieving svelte beauty.

And the house!  Well, the house needs all sorts of replacements for worn out items….. maybe me included.

Big Foot has discovered any and all needed or not-s0-needed-items

can be found ON LINE (no electric go-cart necessary)!

Hurrah!  And just think of the big sales on now!  All that “stuff” is practically free.

Of course this is  self-deception to fool myself into never leaving a chair (and of course, being suckered out of all my money too).

I blame it all on Big Foot because the big boot I drag around means I greatly resemble Scrooge’s ghostly partner, Jacob Marley of Charles Dickens’  A Christmas Carol.  Marley was cursed with dragging around heavy chains for eternity.

Jacob Marley
en.wikipedia.org

But poor Marley did not have the benefit of  modern technology and “retail therapy” on line!

• He missed the thrill of the hunt,
• then pride and joy in finding obscure gadgets,
• and Woohoo! – a breathtaking plunge into the lurking danger of dealing with an unproven website!

But there is more:

• The waiting and anticipation of delivery,
• breathless expectation of the arrival of something new,
• actually dragging the box inside,  and then
• the exquisite joy of opening to discover the wonders within!

The problem with all this deviant behavior (even if it is a welcome diversion from lugging around cursed weights), is it becomes slightly radically compulsive.

I fear I am slipping into that obsessive compulsive realm of online shopping.

Will you, my friends, help with clever ideas for coping with boredom?  I am doomed to wear this big boot for 3 to 6 more weeks – maybe even longer!  Here are some suggestions from friends to date.  Your additions would be oh-so welcome.

Read (I am reading, reading and reading ad infinitum.)

Blog (Yes, I am blogging with little to write about except for online shopping adventures.)

Study Windows 10 (One page is enough because I need another manual to decipher the one page.)

Watch Television (That’s good for a few hours if I don’t count falling asleep.)

Sort Old Photographs (I am planning that but procrastinating)

Write Letters (Are you kidding? Recipients would faint.)

Write a Book (On the verge)

Big Foot Dor is in danger of appearing on one of those television hoarding shows. And Bill hasn’t seen the bill yet either!

 

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