I learned to drive a go-cart at a big Virginia grocery store this week!
What a joy to get off that bad foot! What freedom in zipping around the canned goods and toilet paper aisles!
Retail Therapy took on a whole new meaning
from the seat of what seemed like a toy golf cart.
Fortunately no one was hurt, but people simply do not realize the danger from Un-mechanical Dor on a go-cart.
- First, it is a bit difficult to steer and much too quick to stop, and to set it at a comfortable speed is an ongoing challenge.
- Have you ever seen a new driver learning the stick shift? Of course not. You are too young and only know automatic transmissions. But lurching is the trademark of most new drivers and I regret to say I am a true lurcher.
- The great fun though (even with all the lurching), is in acquiring a whole new perspective of the human race from the nether regions of a grocery aisle!
There it is – the ultimate learning experience –
a bottoms-up viewpoint of human nature!
- First I noticed some folks are actually embarrassed and uncomfortable looking down upon a poor motorized invalid. You can tell by the careful averting of eyes.
- I kept wanting to say, “Hey, it’s me. I’m just like you when I stand up. This is only temporary. Really!”
- And then I began to feel sorry for those who really are disabled. I will certainly pay more attention to being kind to go-cart motorists now. It is demeaning and lonely to be looked at as if you are invisible.
- Some folks look right at you but register annoyance. They will not budge from established positions, probably thinking, “You want in here? You will have to wait. So you are too lazy to walk huh?” These are Scrooge descendents! They should all take a ride in a grocery store go-cart to be converted into nice people (like me).
- Others looked down, focused eye to eye, smiled sympathetically, and graciously gave way. Some even offered to help with the reaching. I secretly believe they are the true Earth Angels and I plan to become just like them when I’m on my feet again!
In the end, I am an untrained motor scooter-er and did not realize there is a final parking procedure. Never receiving instructions I pulled straight in and limped out of the store.
But before that I watched a 98 year old fella (well, he looked 98 – he was driving a go-cart wasn’t he?) backing his cart in with great skill. Then he gave me the frowning evil eye. I was feeling so innocent and unjustifiably maligned but the truth was:
I should have backed my cart up to a wall too. Ha! Lurching forward was hard enough.
And then I should have plugged the thing in for recharging. Ha! Not easy for the electronically handicapped you know.
Obviously, I haven’t made Earth Angel grade yet.
Keep watching though!
I am learning the hard way…from the bottom up.
I think I saw you in the store today. Well, I saw a cart driver very much like you in the store being lectured by that 98 year-old on the finer points of parking. 😉
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I know someone who got a speeding ticket on their supped up cart!
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Hahaha! Me next I think. 🙂
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Oh now that really makes me laugh Andrew! The (98 year old) fellow was actually on the verge of delivering a lecture. I could tell. Just had no idea what I could possibly have done to inspire his anger. 🙂 “Live and learn.” 🙂
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You always give your readers a rare perspective. Thank you for your grace and humor while you are handicapped.
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Ha, I can just imagine you scooting around! I once had an injury and had to use a cart in Home Depot. It went SO SLOWLY I could barely stand it – incentive to recovery quickly! It sounds like your cart was a lot more speedy.
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Wait until you learn to drive it expertely Dora,won’t you have fun dodging in and out of other shoppers and maybe getting there first for your purchase. Seriously I hope your foot is better very soon. Have you found out what the problem is yet with your foot.?
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OMG, I can just imagine you zipping around that grocerry store, bent over the handles with an evil look in your eyes, mowing down anyone who got in your way. Bahahahaha!!! Look out, here comes Dor!! Thank you once again for my morning smile :). Seriously though, with the way they cram things in stores nowadays, I sometimes have trouble maneuvering around displays when I’m walking. I can’t imagine what it would be like in one of those carts. I applaud you my friend!!
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You paint a very vivid picture of this escapade. And yes, I’m laughing. Practice makes perfect.
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I try to behave normally around those carts but I do get annoyed. Not at the cart person but at stores that don’t have aisles wide enough. Two carts can barely pass each other without taking down a display. I have been known (and it’s so hard to believe because I’m short) to get things down from the upper shelves for cart-bound people. Some of them do drive wildly though. They need speed limits!
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I understand the speeding part. A lady almost ran over me, she was zipping down the main aisle at full speed as I walked into the aisle. Good luck with your driving. Do they have horns on them?
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When I broke my foot I couldn’t believe how difficult everything suddenly was, especially being in public. As for the scooter … there really should be class before boarding, sudden liberation comes with a whole lot of confidence…haha! Be well and hang in there!
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Thank you Anne! Laughing is the answer I think. Hope I get the last laugh about this mystery foot. 🙂
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Yes, this, my first cart, had a lot of get up and go…. like I wish I did. 🙂
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The foot is still a mystery diagnosis…. MRI scheduled for Dec. 17th with a verdict by Xmas. Lots of time to practice on the go-karts! 🙂
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Hahahaha! Now I have recurring visions of you coming for a visit and the two of us playing on those go-karts. The evil look while zipping I suspect would be yours while I would seriously be trying to avoid “being seen” with that person who mowed down a few people. 🙂
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What a great responsse with a double meaning! Laughing and practice makes perfect. Yes, I am practicing laughing with you as well as maneuvering the crazy go-kart. 🙂
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I was trying really hard to control wild impulses to speed along on the go-kart. Your words have made me see the light however. Will slow down and avoid display cases. 🙂
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I didn’t notice a horn but will check. Emerging from aisles with blind views of comings and going are the problem. They need to put in stop lights. 🙂
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Or at least take pictures of yourself with your hair blowing in the wind!
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How did you break your foot? And you are right, there should be boarding classes for those go-karts. I will keep trying to perfect my driving skills. 🙂
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Maybe you need to attach one of those bicycle horns to the cart the next time you drive one. Toot, toot!! Comin’ through!! That’ll get you some looks, I bet. Dor, I know you will make Earth Grade Angel soon. You bring joy to all of us readers with your humorous posts. See? Angel quality.
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You are good for the soul and the mindset too Cindy. I love it that you enjoy my strange humor and that you think I will make Earth Grade Angel too. Just those thoughts will get me and Big Foot through this holiday. 🙂
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Who are you kidding? You would have the evil look as well and we would be like two little kids playing bumper cars :). Tee hee!
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Now that would be something to look forward to! 🙂 Ho Ho Ho!
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No better yet? Mom has had to take spins in one a few times now 😦
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Dor HUGS
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Wishing you happy days too Eunice and glad your Mom is feeling better! I am still limping around…waiting to get an MRI.
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Oh… I broke it exercising, you know, trying to get get in shape…lol. All I did was stepped off of something the wrong way and it was no more than 3 inches high.
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I am so sorry I have had a bum foot since Aug. just will not heal I hope you get answers soon swollen painful feet are no fun 😦 HUGS
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Thanks Eunice! Hope your foot heals too. 🙂
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Yikes!
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Thanks
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Dor … You’ll make Earth Angel before you know it and then you’ll be flying high. Hope you’re doing better soon. 😉
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🙂 I am certainly looking forward to Earth Angel status. Many thanks Judy!
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This was your first driving lesson, how were you to know how to park it, you’d just gotten your learner’s permit! A few years ago I got some experience on one of those at Disney. I had muscle weakness from a statin I was taking. Scary times. It does give one a different perspective.
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Ahh -a veteran go-cart user! Hope my statin doesn’t do that. 🙂
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I was switched to a different one and haven’t had any more problems.
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Hurrah for hope. 🙂
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