Uh Oh – it’s Friday!
SUPER WOMAN COLLAPSES
I started working with a mattock on a long narrow ex-flower bed now destined to be grass only.
A MATTOCK IS A VERY HEAVY TOOL. I think huge men use that tool to build railroad tracks.
Anyway, the soil I was attacking was compacted into immovable iron.
And my goal was to fluff up the iron into rich loamy (is loamy a word?) stuff to welcome grass seed.
But after an hour of hefting, heaving, sweating, and finally broadcasting seeds and tamping them down, I staggered into the house and collapsed.
Bill stopped by my inelegantly posed body (complete with ice packs in pertinent places) and said, “Are you o.k.?”
Moan: “Yes, but having chest pains……….”
“Oh,” he said. “I’m going to get a haircut.”
RAIN, RAIN – PLEASE!
SittingLying still with ice packs helped and I started thinking about the poor grass seed dehydrating in all those parched clumps of soil.
Those seeds needed water and fortunately THE FORECAST WAS FOR RAIN. There was already high humidity, overcast skies and even thunder in the distance.
“I will just sit here a little longer and let the rain do the work.”
And I promptly fell asleep.
No rain.
This is Day 4. Tomorrow I will resort to the hose! It is sure to rain after that.
MORE WORK?
I am the secretary of our landowner’s corporation.
All of a sudden there was a lot of busy work to be done re the sale of one of the properties.
Work?! Me? Wasn’t working with a mattock enough?
I would rather play on my blog!
On my way out, there was a deer. I stopped. He stopped. We looked. Why is he staying glued to the spot? I reached for the camera.
Turn on camera.
Wait until things don’t look too fuzzy.
Aim.
No. Too far away.
Aim again.
O.k. – Shoot Click!
We were frozen. He still stood perfectly still looking right into my eyes.
How long could this last?
“I’m sorry but I have an appointment,” I explained and slowly moved forward. And finally the young buck returned to the forest.
Such are the wonders of living in Brigadoon.
GAP TOOTHED WOMAN
I had a tooth enlarged to fill in a gap that harbored leftover morsels of just about anything lodged there.
ENLARGED?
Well, maybe that is not the exact dental terminology. But what else would you call the insertion of putty or enamel or whatever between two teeth to fill in a gaping void? It doesn’t show by the way so I am still a ravishing beauty.
The process took an hour, required numbing, cost $200 and left the same gap eagerly awaiting future lodged in morsels.
I have a darling of a dentist though who says to come back. He wants to try again.
LAUGH UNTIL YOU CRY OR OTHER THINGS
And tonight I laughed so hard I cried (and other things). It was dinner out with friends and one of those times when everything is hilarious.
We were all beyond having a stable quiet evening but were into leaning over, close to falling over, screaming with laughter.
Bill tried to pry open the coke bottle salt shaker and missed seeing all the little pouring holes on top. That sent us into fits of giggles and guffaws.
Pete ordered brown beans and he got about eight beans in a soupy mixture. Talk about laughing tears! I could hardly breathe.
The sign on the door left off pants in the dress code (see previous post “Pants Not Necessary.”)
And what better way to end a week than in laughing to the point of total collapse?
Now you’ve got me laughing, and as you know I really needed a good laugh today. Thank you my friend, but next time hire some hot, young man to do your outside work while you sit in a chair to supervise :).
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is hysterical! The deer thing, the tooth thing and the mattlock? Would your husband really leave when you are having a heart attack or do you use that phrase frequently (I do and it doesn’t give me much sympathy).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hilarious !! Now I am on the verge of collapsing through laughter. Thanks Dora. I needed a good laugh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m thrilled you like to play with your blog. We all benefit. Hope you have recovered from mattock madness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a week, Virginia! That mattock looks like a weapon. Take it easy, super woman! I am glad that it ended with laughter. May you get rain and may your grass grow!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The hot young man is not a bad idea. I could watch from the living room windows. I hope you are holding up my friend, on this momentous day. I remember I cried and cried when our son, Corky, drove off to his first year of college and away from home. Then we bought white carpets and towells that still got dirty anyway. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes I can even make myself laugh Kate! That thing with Bill was hilarious. He did leave for his haircut and never looked back. I think he either didn’t hear me say the chest pain thing or his mind was on far more important things. I was taken aback for a minute and then started laughing and all was well. 🙂 And now it makes for a story that cracks everybody up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There is simply nothing like a real big deep laugh. I discovered that this week Rita. Glad you are on the verge too. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks for the good wishes Anne. The mattock is in deep storage where I will not be able to find it again (I hope). Back to playing in cyberspace. Much more fun.
LikeLike
The hose without an extension reached almost to a comfortable place today. I was able to give the grass seeds a good watering and have now buried the mattock among other lethal tools in Bill’s mad-hatter storage shed. He may never be able to find it again and thank goodness, neither will I.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay – I am totally clueless as to why the date on your post is Sept. 6???
LikeLike
Laughter is the best medicine. I’m not sure if it’s a cure for the aches and pains caused by tackling a rock-hard flowerbed. But it sure can help.
Dor, I love how the deer waited for you to take his photo. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am totally clueless too, although I thought I sent it out this morning. ? 🙂
LikeLike
Maybe he never saw a red car before and was stunned into immobility?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m ok so far, other than weeping at the drop of a hat. I spent the afternoon thoroughly cleaning Bryan’s room because he left today :(, but it’s nice to have one clean, uncluttered room now :).
LikeLiked by 1 person
You worked for an hour with a heavy mattock in the heat and humidity? I am IMPRESSED, Dor! Then you went on to do even more? Whew, you are one tough woman! Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re too funny, Dor! I loved this post! Oh, how I miss Virginia. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are on the right track. Keep busy. And now’s the time to start blogging again and luggng around that camera! 🙂 ~Dor
LikeLiked by 1 person
I sound tough Eliza. It’s called “slight exaggeration”. And of course I fell apart after all and did not go out to water for four days! It’s a pretty safe bet that this Super Woman will never again attempt to till soil with a mattock! 🙂
LikeLike
I think you had better plan a visit to me here in Virginia Jill! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad to hear that. I hire a young buck to do all my heavy work these days. His body can take it and can do it in half the time it would take me. It is SO worth it! 🙂
LikeLike
Good thinking Eliza! I am now leaning (way over) in that direction!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so glad you still have your sense of humor after swinging a mattock. You’re a good woman.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Many thanks Barb. I love being perceived as a good woman even if I do collapse after swinging a mattock. 🙂
LikeLike
So darn funny! Needed that today, thanks Dorann for the uncontrollable laugh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hurrah! I love to make you laugh Mary. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Holy moly, Dor, that was SOME week! You really are super woman…especially wielding a mattock. The most I want to do is wield my TV remote to watch reruns of Mat’lock’. Trying to be punny here. 😉
LikeLike
Your punny puns are always hilarious! Many thanks Cindy. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gee, I don’t have any problem with grass trying to take over the flower bed! A sweet encounter with your dear deer. I can’t believe you voluntarily subjected yourself to dental work. You MUST be Superwoman. Your dinner sounds delightful.
LikeLike
I need you here Patti… for continuing support. 🙂
LikeLike
2 things: You don’t get a haircut when wife is having chest pain.
There are no nice dentists. They are torturers!
LikeLike
Bwahahaha! I will send your comment onto Bill – and maybe to the dentist too. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike