Valentine’s Day Blues

February 15, 2015 by dorannrule

Many of my newest blogger friends are asking if I received chocolate and flowers this Valentine’s Day. By way of explanation, this is a re-write of a previous post from my first blog way back in 2012. Nothing much has changed really.

I ALWAYS DREAD VALENTINE’S DAY!

Maybe nobody loves me!

Woe is me. Even as a child, we would make or buy scads of little cards and give them to our favorite other kids in school. In second grade, DeeDee, the most popular girl in class, got 28 cards!

I received 2! And they were both from my mother, who signed them, “Guess Who?”

Later, Mom actually mailed cards to me that said, “I Love You! From A Secret Admirer.” It took me a few years to figure out who was doing that but at least there were temporary thrills only to be dashed by eventual disillusion.

Then I met The Man I married (Bill), who immediately announced, “I do not believe in Valentine’s Day.”.

“First, he said, “it’s a Hallmark Holiday and also because Saint Valentine was a Catholic Saint, so it must be a Catholic holiday, and I am not Catholic”.

This was not alarming news. In fact, I discovered there is actually a Saint Valentine. I also thought Bill was trying to be funny. TeeHee. And I laughed right along with him.

I suppose I was secure in the fact that at least he married me and I felt immune to disappointment. But there was never a card or a note. Over the years, the fact that we did not celebrate Valentine’s Day became a sort of family joke.

Our son came along and I wished to protect him from disappointments on Valentine’s Day, so I sent him cards that said “I Love You. From a Secret Admirer.”

His response? He made a great little card for his Dad!

He grew up and had kids so I sent my grandgirls cards too that said “I Love You. From a Secret Admirer.” I wonder if they have figured that out yet.

Valentine’s Day is here once more and I am girded to withstand disappointment.

After all, I am old. I am wise. I am truly immune. Who needs cards, flowers, and chocolates anyway?

But once again I have received 2 cards. One is from my oldest friend in the world (longest lasting I mean – and not DeeDee), and the other is from some crazy wonderful friends who bring love and laughter to my life. I consider these 2 cards with hearts on them to actually be sympathy cards.

On the bright side – each year Bill formally invites me on a date to a very fancy restaurant in our little town – for VALENTINE’S DAY! Is he thinking of becoming Catholic?

P.S. Here is my response to the wonderful friends who sent a real card!

A VALENTINE CARD – FOR ME?

I am like the little wallflower girl who is positively giddy with delight at having been remembered on this very special day!

May this positively grand card put Bill to shame and may he cower in fear now that his wife is all puffed up with self importance. Perhaps I can even convince him to convert to Catholocism (since he believes Valentine’s Day is a Catholic holiday).

Yes, love is in the air. I love you both for taking pity on this poor neglected wretch and transforming her into a prima donna!

I shall go forth now with self confidence and self esteem.

THANK YOU!

And may your Valentine’s Day be filled with romance and wonder.

Posted in Country Thoughts, Friends, Holidays, Humor, Love, Memories, Valentine's Day | 13 Comments

13 Responses

on February 15, 2015 at 6:09 am cindy knoke

Bah Hum Bug Bill! He is a Valentines Ebeneezer. I am a therapist. I say he owes you 1 Valentines day card for each year you have been married, and one card for each year you dated before that. If he doesn’t want to pay for them because of the market exploitation argument, then he can always make them, making sure they have nothing catholic about them. 😉 😉
Or then again, you could present this option to him and negotiate a suitable compromise that will address this horrible injustice that has been perpetrated against you 😉
This post is so well written, it made me smile.
PS-My husband doesn’t give me cards anymore. Maybe I should try this with him.. 😉 😉

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on February 15, 2015 at 7:15 am Eliza Waters

You bring up a good point, Dor. Holidays, with all their social hoopla, can leave many folks feeling “left out” and as such, can be painful and unhappy occasions. Thanksgiving, Christmas and Valentine’s are tough if there isn’t a social gathering of beloveds to celebrate with. My son reminds me that these “are just days, like all the rest” and like Bill, sees no point in making a fuss over them. I think it comes down to wanting to feel loved, appreciated and important to those around us. Validation is a good thing and for humans, it ensured our survival when our lives were much more primitive. If you weren’t accepted by the group, you were dead, literally. I don’t think that instinct has left us and still governs much of our behavior. The good thing is to realize this and either ask for what we want (I frequently go looking for a hug) or we can exercise self-care (book a massage or buy myself flowers!). Each and everyone of us has great value and the fact that we are here is proof of that. God doesn’t make mistakes!
Sending you a big Valentine’s Day hug – even across the blogosphere, you are important to me! ❤

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on February 15, 2015 at 8:49 am dorannrule

Blahahaha! I will be giving this instructional to Bill ASAP! Glad you caught the humor in my post. I may have exaggerated things a bit to inspire laughter, but Bill is irreplaceable, even sans valentines! 🙂

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on February 15, 2015 at 11:54 am Jill Weatherholt

Perhaps Bill feels that being married to you, every day is Valentine’s Day, Dor. 🙂

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on February 15, 2015 at 12:45 pm earthriderjudyberman

If Bill knew the background of the saint that Valentine’s Day is named for, he might have more heart for this occasion. ❤ (By the way, Saint Valentine's demise was not pretty. He was martyred. The feast day is celebrated in the Anglican Church, Lutheran Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church.) 😉 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day to you AND Bill. 😉

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on February 16, 2015 at 1:28 am dorannrule

That’s it! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Thanks Jill!

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on February 16, 2015 at 1:29 am dorannrule

Interesting! And Happy Valentine’s Day to you too Judy. 🙂

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on February 16, 2015 at 10:28 am coastalcrone

My Bill and I don’t exchange Valentines anymore. I bake heart-shaped cookies for him and we open some champagne. I think Valentine’s Day is too commercial anyway and makes it harder for those who don’t get all those cards – sort of like Mother’s and Father’s Day. But that is just me. Thanks for the recent comment and visit to my blog. May spring really come your way soon!

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on February 16, 2015 at 3:23 pm dorannrule

You and your Bill have the right idea!

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on February 17, 2015 at 2:22 am Mary

A great post Dorann, you got to love Bill – hope your night out was fun indeed (minus a card, my Father is the same [shame on Dad], but a private time when someone else makes the meal and the only company you have is each other. That is a special enduring love ~

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on February 17, 2015 at 4:06 pm dorannrule

Thank you Mary! You got it. There is a “special enduring love” here – even minus the cards. I think Bill and your Dad would be great friends though. 🙂

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on February 19, 2015 at 7:04 am Mama's Empty Nest

Guess what I got for Valentine’s Day? An adorable baby granddaughter who was born the day before. Better than cards, flowers, or even chocolate!! 😀

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on February 19, 2015 at 4:44 pm dorannrule

CONGRATULATIONS on the new baby girl – and what a valentine gift she is! 🙂 🙂 🙂

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