Getting Lost with Lola

Lola

Nowadays there is no excuse for a driver to get lost – not with the wonderful Global Positioning Systems around.  The little gadget with a lady inside actually talks you through the twists and turns of life, and almost everyone I know has one or has tried one.   Our youngest granddaughter named ours “Lola.”

I LOVE LOLA!

Well, at t first I loved Lola.  She was so cute when she said, “Recalculating” or even when she consistently interrupted interesting conversations with “Turn Left in 1.6 miles” and “Continue on Highway 81 for 2.4 miles and then turn right on Gleason Street.”  Isn’t modern technology wonderful?

Lola always does her annoying best to get us there.  Even so, my husband and I still manage to get lost in strange cities.  Once, in New Jersey, we could actually see our destination but began to think it was a mirage. “Look!  There’s our hotel across the street!”  After infuriating ineffectual circling and extreme frustration (since Lola kept droning, “RECALCULATING!”), we finally gave up and called the hotel concierge.  “Help! We can see your place from here, but it looks like it is to the left of us and there’s no left turn and if we go right, we wind up in traffic going the wrong way.  No, I don’t know what street we are on because there’s no street sign.  A GPS?   Ha!”

I don’t know why we have so much trouble getting somewhere when the somewhere is in plain sight.  And although I would like to, I can’t really blame Lola for the New Jersey debacle.  Like I said, “In her somewhat annoying way, she tries.”  But, at least that particular time we wound up laughing.  It should be noted that we are not always so amicable in stressed traffic situations or other times when we get lost in parking garages.

RECALCULATING LOVE FOR LOLA

There was the time we were in the Hershey Park, Pennsylvania parking lot, ready to leave.  “Where did we come in?” Bill asked.  “Uh back behind those buildings over there I think.”  And off we went, heading for the back of the lot, which turned out to be the wrong way after all.  “I thought you said BEHIND THOSE BUILDINGS!”  “Uhhhh… where are we anyway?” I wonder as we aimlessly circle the parking lot.  Finally, we hit a spot where Miss Smarty Pants Lola kicked in and said, “RECALCULATING!”  Grrrrr.

I can hear her infuriating voice now, “Turn Right at XYZ Street in 1.6 miles.”  But OMG – Bill turned LEFT onto a freeway going nowhere with no turns to get back for the next 60 miles! “RECALCULATING.”   Oh, Lola – SHUT UP!  And “Why didn’t you tell me to turn LEFT?” hollers Bill.  “BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE LISTENING TO LOLA!”   “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO ANYWAY – LOLA?”   x*ja$#xxx”/X@#!!!  Now I am ready, really ready, to jump out the door onto the freeway.

We still take maps too, and plot our travel routes in strange cities the old way.   And I still try to balance everything on my lap and go from reading glasses to sunglasses and back trying to give supplemental directions to help Lola with her insurmountable tasks.

By the second day of our vacation I think I dislike Lola.  By the third day, I dislike her intensely and I wonder if she would stop talking if I stepped on her.

The fact is, we are getting ready for another vacation and I can guarantee we will be lost more often than not.  So guess who is coming along TO HELP?  LOLA!

WHATEVER LOLA WANTS, LOLA GETS

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