Take Me Out to the Auction!

Viola was one of my earliest country friends.  She introduced me to all sorts of new and exciting adventures, and one of them was attending an estate auction.  Oh, I had seen them in movies where you nod or hold up a finger, or pull on your ear lobe to bid on something the auctioneer is hawking.

I didn’t realize how exciting this process could be though, especially if you have your eye on something special.

We went to a big old country farmhouse.  It was a beautiful day and the items to be sold were displayed outdoors on the lawn.  As we browsed, I noticed a rickety corner cupboard.  It was a sad looking piece with paint peeling and sharp pieces of wood sticking out, as well as cobwebs where it had not been dusted for the sale.  It was what they call “distressed,” and it was a perfect fit for a corner of my dining room.  I knew it would take some work to sand down and refinish.  I turned to Viola and asked:

• Do you think I can do it?
• What should I bid?
• Do you like it?
• Do you think it would fit well in our dining room?
• If I want to bid, should I raise my hand or pull my ear?
• How will I ever get the piece home?
• Should I paint it?
• Or should I sand it down to the original wood and stain it?
• What if it doesn’t fit?
• What do you think I should do?

“Can’t hurt to try,” said Viola, “Go for it!”  And I secretly decided $50.00 would be my upper limit.  Was I being ridiculous to spend this much on a worn out old piece of furniture?

Eventually we all sat down and the auction began.  I was getting so excited and fidgety about making my major bid that I could hardly sit still.  There was a tension in the air. I was breathless with anticipation.  I had the fever all right.  By golly (an antique phrase used to mean “By Gosh”) who else would want that cabinet anyway?

Finally the corner cabinet came up and the auctioneer began the bidding.

“Who will give $1,500 for this beautiful cabinet?” he boomed.  $1,500????  And the bidding went on without me ever pulling my ear once.   The cabinet sold for $2,500!   Imagine?

Viola just looked at me and grinned.

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